What Fades Away

chapter 18: cut deep

a/n: graphic depictions of violence and injury, mentions of blood, allusions of SA

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Bucky's breath comes out in thick, white puffs as he crouches on the rooftop. It's a scene eerily similar to when he was shot and a phantom pain prickles in his side at the thought. Sam and Peter are down below or maybe above, hell if he knows, as Yelena and Kate shuffle around behind him. He grips the railing of the fire escape a little harder, the icy metal cutting through his leather gloves.

They don't have much of a plan, admittedly. Torres gave them the directions to the place Mara is supposed to be and Bucky became blinded by need and burning fury. He doesn't remember the drive here or anything Yelena may have said to him on the way.

Bucky feels like there's a bruise in his chest. Every moment that ticks by he can feel it spreading, causing near-irrevocable damage. It's the same bruise he's been nursing for over seventy years, first pummeled into him when he watched Steve's face as he fell from that fucking train. He can't lose someone else. None of them can. Each member of their team wears their grief like a weighted blanket, one that fluctuates in its heaviness from day to day.

A series of loud clicks and metal grinding against metal echoes off the rooftop and Bucky glares at Yelena, the pieces of her rifle scattered around her as she reassembles it from the case. The noise grates his nerves, seeming to go on forever as her blonde hair glows in the dim streetlights with each movement of her body. He loves her like a sister, which means she often annoys him like one. Bucky often wishes that Yelena could have met Rebecca, but he also believes he wouldn't have been able to survive the ball busting.

Silently, Bucky leans over and snatches the final pieces of the weapon from her hands, putting them into their final positions with remarkable efficiency. Her eyes narrow as he thrusts it back in her direction before turning to resume his watch.

"Asshole," Yelena mutters as she closes the case and Bucky's lip twitches in a bit of a smirk.

"When did Cap and Pete say they would be back?" Kate asks, her hands perched on her hips. There's a bare stretch of roof from where she's been pacing, snow caked to her boots. The tip of her nose is red and there's flakes of snow stuck in her thick lashes.

"We need proof that Mara's actually in there before we go in," Bucky replies gruffly. "Could be a trap. Could be a mistake."

"And we don't need those damage control dipshits on our ass...again," Yelena mumbles.

"Your ass, you mean?" Bucky shoots back over his shoulder. He hears it before he sees it and barely dodges the chunk of snow that Yelena aims at the back of his head. The powdery substance falls on his sleeve instead.

"Do you have to have a comment for everything, Barnes?" she grumbles, resuming her watch over the street below.

"Yes."

A heavy silence washes over them, despite the incessant sounds of the city around them.

"Well, it doesn't matter because she's in there. I know she is," Kate murmurs, bringing the conversation back around to what's currently most important. She says it more to herself than anyone else as she scuffs her boot against the nearby brick.

Suddenly, Kate emits a small yelp as Peter lands soundlessly between them with Sam close behind. He's practically vibrating with energy, Bucky can hear his heartbeat hammering across the distance.

"Torres and Redwing found two heat signatures in the building," Sam says. "One significantly lower than the other, but still warm enough."

"That's all I needed to hear," Yelena replies as she removes her handgun from its holster at her side.