Our Mental Love

Chapter 23

I was happy to be with Kowa. I didn't have to stay in that building they call normal. That building ruins lives.

Kowa was sleeping at the edge of the cabin on a bunch of leaves. I stare at her, inspecting her calm face. Her chest heaves up and down.

I lean my head up and finally notice that this cabin is very well built. There seems to be no gap of sunlight on the "roof".

I look back at Kowa. I smile but it soon falters. Her body starts to tremble and shake. I run up to her worriedly. Kowa's eyes open suddenly and she screams. Her loud piercing scream could break any human heart.

I stretch out my hands for her to hold but her eyes are once again filled with terror. Realizations structs me. Kowa had a nightmare. I reach out my hands slowly to Kowa but she screams again. Even more louder this time.

I ignore her screaming the best I can and I try again. Kowa screams a very high pitched scream that's seems to vibrate the cabin. I pull back my hand and move far away from her. No. I can't loose Kowa like this. Not this way. Not with a nightmare. Not with Kowa being afraid of my hands. Not with Kowa being afraid of my touch.

I was so tempted to hug Kowa and ask what's wrong. But I stopped myself from doing anything. Kowa was hugging her legs to her chest and was rocking back and forth over and over again. Her eyes were staring at a dark spot on the hard, dirty ground.

Kowa was traumatized by whatever she experienced. Kowa wasn't breaking her continuous staring. She barely even blinked.

I started to panic and I reached out a slow hand to grab hers.

Kowa screamed once again. Even worse than all. I move back to the wall as far as I could go. She stands up quickly and grabs something from her belt. My gun.

Kowa points it at me. Just like her mother did. They both look fierce and dangerous. I look at Kowa in the eyes and she stares at me with full hatred.

"Kowa?" My voice is full of desperation. My Kowa is forever gone. But she was never mine. Kowa was just Kowa. Not mine.

I look at her eyes and they don't soften at all. Not the way the man did before. I look at her again, deep in the eyes and she drops the gun suddenly.

Kowa slowly falls to the ground and her hands are shaking violently. Kowa's legs are trembling and Kowa covers her face with her shaking hands.

Her body starts to tremble completely. I walk up to Kowa and place a gentle hand on her back. Kowa shakes even more from the sudden warm touch.

Kowa looks up at me with her teary eyes. Trails of tears are falling on the dirt, causing tiny splatters of dark spots on the ground.

I look at Kowa and I wipe a few tears away with my thumb. Kowa attempts to smile but it fails terribly. Kowa rubs her eyes angrily. "Kowa?" My voice seems to make her break down once again.

I hug Kowa closely to me and her shuddering body is warm against mine. Kowa places her head on my shoulder and I feel a spot on my shirt dampen.

I gently play with Kowa's hair and she calms down. "It's okay Kowa." Kowa sniffles in a few breaths and leans back. Kowa looks at my eyes.

"I almost... I almost... Oh Darren." Her voice is filled with disappointment and sorrow. Kowa starts to tear up and I hug Kowa and place her on my lap. Kowa's gentle, dainty fingers are touching my skin softly.

I hug Kowa tighter and she smiles a true Kowa smile. I lift her chin up and I can't help myself from kissing her gently. And the thing is, I don't hesitate.