Damaged - A Hetalia AU (ON HOLD)

Chapter 8: All This Panic

(A/N: I'm so sorry for the late chapter! As much as I'd love to have some crazy reason why I was gone, I don't, so let's just pretend I went to the store, took a wrong turn and got kidnapped by Shrek, went to the moon, and Barry Bee Benson had to rescue me. In reality, I just had no motivation. Anyways, enjoy!)

Elizaveta was doing the same thing Ludwig always used to do.

Numb the pain by overworking yourself.

Her mind was caught up in a mess of funeral arrangements, as she wanted to give Roderich the best funeral she could to give back for everything he'd done for her. She had a notebook with all of her ideas messily written out, each more grand than the first.

While Elizaveta was distracting herself with planning, Feliciano walked in to check on her. Her hair was a mess, with sticky notes stuck all around the desk she was asleep at. She must have overworked herself to sleep, again. Feliciano thought to himself.

Feliciano put a blanket that was on the bed over her shoulders, pushing her hair out of her face before leaving the room. Feliciano didn't understand, this is an extremely hard time for her. So why was she overworking herself? Then Feliciano remembered it.

That was what Ludwig used to do. He used to overwork himself to unhealthy levels to numb the pain. Feliciano still didn't understand why a person could pull themselves to do such a thing. He could never overwork himself to such an unhealthy level that he might die.

Feliciano sighed before entering the bathroom off to the side of the hall. He looked at his tired face in the mirror before breaking down in tears. He hadn't sobbed this much in years. The last time he remembered bawling like this was when his grandfather had died.

Sitting with his face dug into his knees, thoughts raced through his mind about the situation right now. Did it have to be this way? Did Roderich have to die in such a horrible, tragic accident? Was the family truly damaged beyond repair? Just... Why?

Feliciano and his brother had essentially become part of the Germanic family, and with an overworked Lovino, and everyone else sadder than ever, this was so hard to keep the family from getting even worse every single day. Feliciano wanted to break down and cry.

Which was what he was doing.

"Mr. Feliciano?" A voice chimed from the doorway. It was Lilli. "Oh! Good afternoon, Lilli. Do you need anything?" Feliciano asked, quickly changing moods. Lilli seemed concerned. "Are you okay? You were crying." Lilli replied, going and sitting next to Feliciano.

Feliciano sighed. "I know I'm not biologically related to the family, I'm only here because of Ludwig, but the stress of this has been so hard. You wouldn't believe how many times I've comforted Elizaveta, or cuddled Ludwig as he cries himself to sleep. It's exhausting..." Feliciano complained.

Lilli frowned softly. "It's been hard for all of us. I've been crying a lot too. Sometimes, if I think about it too much, I start to worry, my stomach starts to hurt, and it feels hard to breathe... It feels like I'm panicking or something. I don't know what it is though." Lilli remarked. Feliciano's head jerked up.

"Lilli." Feliciano began. "Do you have any other symptoms?" He questioned. Lilli nodded. "I get chills, I get a bit shaky, I sweat, I feel weak..." Feliciano stopped Lilli. "You know what that is, right?" He asked. Lilli seemed confused. "No..."