Never Lost, Always Found

Chapter Twenty

        I'm really tired of the bland, monotonous days I keep having at school. The days keep repeating, and ever since Jason died, something inside of Benji keeps making him more upset. I need to get him therapy or something. So what is the first thing I do? Wear the sweatshirt that his parents got me for my seventeenth birthday and get me and Daniel to sing a song from Be More Chill's Ensemble.

Benji's face is concerning me slightly as we do so because it's not moving at all, other than the occasional blinking or eye movements that come from his face. I'm getting more and more nervous as time goes on, and my singing might start to waver soon if he doesn't show any more appreciation that what we're trying.

When we finish, I don't expect Benji to do what he does next. Without unfixing his gaze from the ground, he wraps his arms around both of us and gives us the biggest hug ever. I hug him back, finding his hand and squeezing it gently. I rub it on the top of his hand and silently thank him in my mind.

He thanks us for everything we've done. Apparently, that's one of the biggest things for me to hear from him because my stomach flies into the sky. That's when I do it. I let Daniel pull away and kiss Benji as hard as I can, as loving as I can, and I can feel every ounce of affection pouring out of my body and seeping into his. The tenderness and beauty of it all make the butterflies come back.

The kiss lasts until he pulls away and says, "I love you." Benji hugs me again, and I smile as my head digs gently right over where his heart is. The beat of his heart is something I like hearing, and he holds me there for such a long time that the same beat thumps in my chest also.

Benji hangs out with us all day. We're together when the day takes a dark turn. While we're ready to say our goodbyes in the parking lot, Bailey walks by with another guy. He's got auburn hair and pale white skin. He's pretty cute, but he's who Bailey's cheating on Daniel with.

My defensiveness kicks in and I walk over to Bailey. "What the actual heck are you doing!" I yell, slapping her hard across her face. The boy's in so much shock he can't move or react at all. Benji comes up to me and pins my arms behind my back so I can't swing at Bailey or the boy anymore.

Daniel's sobbing in the back temporarily arouses me from my violent state. Then I remember why he's crying. "You monsters! You're a loathsome, despicable, loser!" I snarl. I'm fighting against Benji's strong arms. "Calm down!" Benji cries. "No!" I shoot back. I'm literally so incensed and fierce that for a second I feel Benji's muscles go slack before they turn taut and strain again.

"Let me go!" I bark. Daniel's hand falls onto my shoulder. He sniffles and takes a shaky breath and sings. It percolates into my ears and makes me take a deep breath. Benji lets go of my arms but keeps a firm grip on my right hand. Daniel stops singing and faces the two. "I hope you're happy," he says, closing his eyes.

Bailey stretches her arms out to hug him, but I tug at Benji's hand and say, "You stay away from him, you cheater." My teeth are gritted together, and a spasm in my hand forces my fingers to clench. The boy grabs Bailey's hand and hurries away. Before she leaves, I lift my left hand and stick up my middle finger.

"Screw her," I mutter under my breath. Daniel opens his eyes and takes off his glasses. He wipes his glasses on his hoodie, then dabs the tears from his eyes.

Benji lets go of my hand and hugs Daniel. Daniel's face melts into an undoubted hit of emotions. So many tears flow down his face that I join the hug. "I'm so sorry," I say to Daniel. He takes a heaving breath before his sobs continue. "It's okay," Benji says calmly. I do something from a while ago. I pat Daniel's head.