Never Lost, Always Found

Chapter Twelve

        Russell is shaking me. My eyes flutter open. I sit up and blink to clear my vision. His bruise is a faded purple, but he has a grin on his face. "What the actual heck?" I start before he cuts me off. "Come on, the talent show's tonight! I'm so excited!" "Really? I couldn't tell," I say. "Why do I have to rush when the concert's not until tonight?"

"Because you practice with someone all day today! That person will be me!" he says. "Did you really have the audacity to read the waver?" I say. I bend over, making an attempt to fix my cramped back. I throw the blanket off of me. I sit up, and a hand helps me stand up. "Russell, I'm scared."

"About what, Paige?" he asks, leading me into the kitchen. He grabs a cinnamon bun from the box that's sitting on the counter and says, "These are great, but I prefer toast." "I prefer cinnamon buns," I say, grabbing one too. It's harder than it was even yesterday, but it still tastes delectable.

"I'm scared of Benji. What if he doesn't come and I make a fool of myself? What happens if you get so hurt by him that you end up in the hospital? Or-or-" I say, starting up the coffee machine. Mom comes into the kitchen. "Hello, you two!" she says. "Your bruise looks good, Russell! What about that cut?" "Still healing, Mrs. Tristan," he says.

The coffee machine makes my coffee and I sit down at the table. I take a sip from y coffee mug and sigh. I need this energy. I'm feeling better as I finish the cinnamon bun, and a lot happier too. 

There's a churning feeling in my chest, and I assume it's the nerves right away. But I feel awfully scared like I want to back out. This feeling goes on the rest of the morning, even after I hop on the bus with Russell. I make sure to hide his cut with his hair. When we get to the school, he drags me to the music room and tells me, "Sing."

I sing for two, three hours maybe, my confidence in tonight fading. Finally, I run out of the room, bursting into tears. I run to the janitor's closet, tears pouring down my face like mini waterfalls.

I sit there until the door opens and Russell's there, his arms outstretched. "What's wrong?" he asks. "N-nothing," I say, trying to put on a smile. He shakes his head. "No, something's wrong. Tell me," he says. He grabs my hand and leads me from the janitor's closet. As we walk back to the music room, I shudder.

I can't go tonight. I'll mess it all up.

When I explain this to Russell, he says, "No. You aren't going to give up. You will try, and if it fails, so what? At least you have some quirks you can pull right then and there."

"You're right," I sniffle. We sing for a few more hours until I feel confident enough in a song to write it down. When I sing it again, Russell's face lights up. "Now, call it 'Never Lost, Always Found.'" "Why?" I ask. "Because we're revealing his feelings, remember?" Russell asks. I feel my heart sink. "Oh. Yeah."

 The clock ticks by just as fast as the day goes. It drags, longer and longer until finally, the final bell rings. We sing until the sun goes down. "It's time," he says. "Let's get you changed for the party at your house. Your mom picked a beautiful dress."

We get back to my house, and he covers my eyes. "It's my bedroom," I say, "why can't I see?" He uncovers my eyes as I hear my door open, and there's Mom and Jeremy, smiling. Mom is holding a black dress with purple roses scattered flawlessly on it. "Mom..." I manage to say. "Did you...buy that for tonight?" She nods. "We're coming to see your show!"

Everyone lets me get changed before I step out o my room. The dress shimmers and fluffs out in such a perfect way. It's gorgeous on my waist and everything.