Lipstick Stains

9 - Ana Theresia

"The gifts and the letters...it was you, wasn't it?"

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Leni pulled away from our contact as fast as she could. She couldn't meet my eyes and ang fidgety niya. Her face was unreadable pero with her body language, I could tell na she's feeling nervous.

I decided to give her a few minutes alone at nagpunta sa banyo. Sana lang hindi niya ako takasan 'no. Birthday ko pa man din tapos iiwan lang niya ako sa ere. Bad 'yun. Knowing Leni though, she wouldn't do that.

Lumabas na ako and nag-umpisa na mag-panic when I didn't see her on the dining table. Hala, iniwan ako? Naligpit niya na rin 'yung pinagkainan namin and wine glass ko na lang 'yung natirang nandoon. Halos maiyak na ako and uumpisahan ko na sana siyang murahin sa isip ko when I caught sight of her sitting on the couch in the living room, face buried in her hands.

Ayan ang OA mo kasi, Risa. Overthinker na assuming pa. Kaya ka nafafall eh.

Hindi ko siya tinabihan. Instead, I stood a few feet away from her, waiting patiently for her to start talking. Tumingin siya sa'kin and inhaled sharply.

"Okay, look. Hear me out ha. Hindi ko alam paano ka iaapproach without it seeming out of the blue. No'ng una, it was just a simple attraction. I swear, hindi ko rin naman inexpect na aabot sa ganito. Tangina, I didn't even think it was possible for me to be attracted to someone after Jesse pero biglang andyan ka. Tapos ang ganda mo, ang bait mo, you've supported me since day one and ewan...bigla na lang akong gumising isang araw and I wanted nothing more than to be with you."

Nakatingin lang ako sa kanya, listening to every word that she says. She was rambling on and on and ang bilis niyang nagsasalita pero what she's saying carries so much na hindi ko mapigilang maluha sa pinagsasabi niya sa'kin ngayon.

"I decided to give you the anonymous letters and gifts kasi sobrang naduduwag akong sabihin 'yung mga 'yun kapag kaharap na kita. So I sent them while I was still gathering the courage to confess to you. And then I felt like you would find it creepy after I sent you the flowers kaya I made up for it by spending the day with you.

That night at your office na may dinner ka, I called your staff kung kumain ka na and when they said no, sabi ko dadalhan kita. I asked them to keep quiet about it and kaya sinabi kong parehas tayo ng ulam kasi ako nagluto no'n. The playlist, I remember you telling me about your favorite songs when we were in Hong Kong and alam ko ang tagal na no'n pero tandang-tanda ko pa rin. The baked goods was random, sinulat ko lang 'yung letter doon while I was ordering our food sa counter kasi I realized na wala akong mabibigay sa'yo for that day."

I swallowed the lump forming in my throat. Napapikit ako kasi...it was Leni all along.

Gusto ko na agad siyang tabihan and tell her she didn't need to explain any longer kasi kahit naman hindi sa kanya galing 'yun, I still would've chosen her in a heartbeat.

"Ever since I came to the realization that I was attracted to you, wala na. Parang nakakalimutan kong presidente ako ng Pilipinas, na may trabahong naghihintay sakin, may meeting na dapat puntahan sa araw na 'yun, or kung ano pang engagements at errands ang kailangan kong gawin. Kasi all I think about is you. From the moment I wake up to the moment I'm about to sleep. Sometimes you even visit me in my dreams. A-and don't get me wrong, I don't hate it pero fuck...you consume all the spaces in my mind."

"Tapos 'yung libro na pinaabot ko kay Kiko kahit dapat ako na 'yung magbibigay ngayon. Kanina pa talaga ako nandyan sa labas, nag-iipon ng lakas ng loob, tangina buti nga hindi natunaw 'yung cake. God, Risa, you drive me crazy. Ikababaliw ko 'tong pagmamahal sa—"

"I love you."

I interrupted and she stared at me, jaw dropped and eyes almost popping out of her head. Para bang sinascan niya 'yung mukha ko para makita kung nagbibiro ako and when she found no traces of me poking fun at her, she replied in a small voice, "Anong sabi mo?"

"Sabi ko...I love you, Leni."

Tinabihan ko na siya sa sofa and locked our fingers together. I met her shocked eyes and she was about to cry too.

"Talaga?"

"Talagang-talaga."

"I love you, Risa. Matagal na." Her tears streamed down her cheeks.

I wiped her tears off. "I love you too."

Binitawan ko 'yung kamay niyang hawak ko and held her face. Tinignan ko siya nang malalim, hoping that my eyes reflect the intensity of how I feel for her. Sana makita niya sa mga mata ko kung gaano katagal kong hinintay 'tong araw na 'to.

She inched her face closer to mine and capture my lips in a soft kiss. Hindi ako kinilig. Hinding-hindi...ko na gustong umalis dito tangina. Dininggin ni Lord 'yung panalangin ko. Gusto kong tumili, sumigaw, at magtatatalon sa tuwa.

Our lips started moving in perfect sync, hands tenderly holding each other's faces. Firm but not demanding. Itong halik na 'to hindi sabik. It wasn't fast-paced or eager to build up to something greater. More than anything, this kiss was the declaration of our love for each other.

It was slow, intimate, and pure. Parang relationship namin.

They say when you finally kiss the person you love, you feel fireworks. But kissing Leni didn't feel like that. Not only did it feel like coming home, but it felt like a storm stopped within me. Our lips, pressed like that against each other, calmed whatever chaos was inside me. And for the first time in a long time, I'm at peace.

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good morning! walang magdadabog for today's video :>