Lipstick Stains

Conversations with Mama: Issa & Ianna

"Ma, have you always liked girls?"

I laid on my mother's lap as she subconsciously ran her fingers through my hair. Mama, Issa, and I were in the living room, enjoying the white noise as we scrolled aimlessly on our phones. My question seemed to pull them both from their own worlds.

"Oh, that's a good question. I've also been curious about that." Issa said, inching closer to where we sat now fully interested.

"Hmm," Mama hummed wistfully. "I don't think so."

"Like you've never looked at girls that way?"

"No...I've only ever been attracted to men. Boyfriends only, no girlfriends."

"Okay...so what was it about Tita Leni, then?"

"Oo nga, if you were never attracted to girls before then what made you look at Tita differently?"

I observed the expression on Mama's face. She looked both amused and deep in thought like she's never actually thought of this before. "If I remember correctly, it was her lipstick."

"What? Mama, that's so weird." Issa laughed loudly.

"Weird or not, it's true!"

"What was it about her lipstick?" I asked.

"I saw she was wearing a different shade once. Something darker. Then ayun, the rest was history."

"Na-turn on ka sa lipstick niya?" I joked and she tapped my forehead lightly, cheeks turning red. "Joke lang, Ma! I don't even want to know details like that."

I sat up and laughed with Issa who hid her face behind a pillow.

"But was it really her lipstick?" my sister asked.

"Yeah. The burgundy one."

"What if it was a different color? Do you think you would have reacted differently?" I inquired.

"Alam mo, Ma, ako na lang sasagot ng tanong ni Ianna," said Issa. "I think, lipstick shades aside, Mama would have fallen for Tita Leni still."

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"How did you feel when you realized you were in love with Tita?" I asked as the three of us ate breakfast.

"You know, it still gets me how my feelings were more of a lightbulb moment like 'Ah ito pala 'yun', than utter shock."

Issa shrugged and replied, "Maybe that's because you've always known."

"What do you mean, Is?"

"See, my theory, or rather Ianna and I's theory, is that you've actually always been in love with Tita Leni since I don't know...2016? You've just never realized it before."

"Huh? I only fell in love with her when she and I started spending more time on the days nearing my birthday dati."

"Hay nako, Ma. For someone so intelligent and emotionally-wise, you're so oblivious," I chuckled.

Mama's brows furrowed and she looked at me in confusion. I sighed, "The pink leatherband. You being her number one cheerleader, the way you look at her and talk to her. The hugs, kisses on the cheek, and stuff like holding each other's hands when you're in need of comfort. Oh, and don't even get me started on how you talk about her."

"H-how do I talk about her?"

Issa cleared her throat and did her best impression of Mama which had me giggling. "Leni's amazing 'no? Ang galing ni Leni! I admire her, she's such a strong woman. Leni looks pretty today...I mean she looks pretty all the time naman. Do you think Leni's okay? Does she need anything? Go, Leni! Leni this, Leni that."