Lipstick Stains

From Sinta

I don't think there's a day that I don't miss you.

I am filled with guilt whenever I think about how I can't seem to remember any memories of you and I together. I was too young, Papa. All of us were. I remember Mama telling us about your passing. I didn't quite fully understand what was going on. She told me you weren't ever coming home so I cried until I was asleep.

As I grew older, I longed a lot for your presence.

I dreamt of you and Mama both onstage at graduations, both beside me when it's my birthday right before I blow the light out of the candle, and both watch me ride all my fears and doubts away at the ranch.

However much I want you to be here, I feel your presence around me all the time.

Life would be so different with you here, Papa. Perhaps in another lifetime, I can spend more time with you. You could watch me grow up and learn how to ride horses while I watch your hair turn gray and wrinkles form on your face.

Mama doesn't like telling us her problems, so even if you're up there now, I hope you continue to be her best friend. I have homework to do pa so I'll write to you again soon, okay? I love you, Papa.

Missing you always,

Sinta

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It's campaign season for Mama now.

She's an amazing person, isn't she Papa? Often, Kuya Kiko would tell me to be a good girl because Mama already had a lot on her plate. It's during those times that I would realize na oo nga 'no. She's fighting for things so much bigger than her, issues that don't even directly concern her, all while she's bringing us to school and helping me finish my homework. I think you blessed her with your superpowers.

Don't forget to give my kuya and ates too ha? Of course me rin kasi I want to be able to do amazing stuff like that.

Mama takes me with her to campaign sometimes because no one could babysit me. Hindi naman na ako baby so I didn't need anyone to watch me. But Mama insists and I also enjoy spending time with her so I agreed to accompany her in campaigns. There's always a loooot of people in their rallies. It makes me feel nervous.

You know, Mama has a pretty friend. I call her Tita Leni. She's running for VP and Mama said that like you, Tita Leni's husband is in heaven already. She has really nice kids too. Ate Aika, Ate Tricia, and Ate Jillian. Sometimes, we'd play together while waiting for our Mamas. Tita helped me with my homework one time and her girls often help me too. Ate Jill also taught me how to put nail polish like the one my ates have!

Can you thank God for me, Papa? For having us meet amazing people like Tita Leni and her kids? They make both Mama and I less nervous kasi eh.

We'll be campaigning again today so I'll write to you soon. I love you, Papa.

Missing you always,

Sinta

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I'm sorry for not writing that often to you.

In between school and hospital visits, I rarely found the time to. Pero babawi ako sa'yo. I promise! I'm much older now since the last time I wrote to you. MUCH older. Last night, Mama looked at me and she asked, "Where has time gone? My baby girl's so big na."

We're doing well here, Papa. I hope you're doing well up there too.

It's campaign season for Mama again. Risa pa, she said. I find that tag very witty. Someone even brought a Red Horse for her because it matched her initials. How funny is that?