Ashton dragged me to the movies the next day. "I'm going to be right back," Ashton said to me. "I've got to go to the bathroom. Could you grab us a popcorn and sodas and get us seats in the movie?"
I nodded and he left after kissing me. I got popcorn and sodas and ajkl the tickets and seats for the movie. While I was waiting, more and more people came into the theater but Ashton still wasn't there. 10 minutes later, the movie had started and Ashton was still missing.
A man walked in, being somewhat late but not seeming to care much. "Um, excuse me," I said as he walked past.
The man turned back and gave me a glare. "What?" He snapped.
"I was wondering if you've seen a curly haired boy with hazel eyes and a pony shirt? He was going to the bathroom but he hasn't come back yet..."
The man's eyes got wider and he quickly said, "No I've never seen anyone like that." He dashed out of the theater quickly, looking around the room to see if anyone heard.
That was strange, he was just coming in to watch the movie, right? Either way, I went to find Ashton and couldn't find him. Reluctant at first, I walked into the men's bathroom and looked. I didn't have to work too hard to find him - he was laying in the center of the bathroom, bleeding profusely from his chest in several places.
I shrieked and ran over to his side, bawling. I kept screaming for help. I saw people rushing in to see what happened. They all called more people in. Directions were being yelled at me, but I couldn't hear them. All I could hear was a loud ringing noise.
Someone pulled me off of Ashton and started to press on the wounds. I fell to the ground, not being able to hold myself up. I just wanted to hear his voice again, to get away from and forget about the puddle of his blood, slowly getting bigger and moving across the floor, to feel the warmth of his skin, to hug him and feel him hug back, to be able to tell him I loved him and have him listen.
Then I remembered that man, the one in the theater who I asked about Ashton. The one who acted weird when I mentioned Ashton. It was him. I couldn't remember what he looked like, especially in the dark movie theater.
***
And that brings us to now, why I'm here, in the hospital, waiting for Ashton to get through surgery. He has to make it. He just has to. The doctors said he most likely will not make it but if he doesn't make it, I won't either. He has done so much for me, his family, the fans, he can't just be gone. Without saying goodbye. Without finishing things with me. Without living his dream of performing. He can't. It's nor fair, it's just not fair for someone to be gone. Someone who you love just being gone and not even being able to say goodbye, or to explain your love for them.
The doctors said it'll take up to a couple of hours to complete the surgery. Stab wounds. They were stab wounds to his abdomen. A miracle is what the doctors said it would be if he makes it.
I hear someone coming down the hallway. The doctors are walking in. "Where's Ashton??" I nearly shout.
"We wanted to make sure you were okay to see him. He's in the hallway. He's not in good condition. We're turning his life support off to end the unbearable pain he's feeling. You can say goodbye if you want. He won't be able to reply, but will be able to hear you. Are you ready?"
Is anyone ever really ready to say goodbye to their one true love? "Yeah, I'm ready." They wheel him in on the rolling bed. "Hey Ash," I start, choking back tears. He looks horrible - pale, weak, limp. His eyes are closed. "I'm sorry this ever happened to you, to us. I don't know if I'll be able to move on after this. I would do anything to stop this. But I can't. I won't ever forget you. Ever.
"And I feel absolutely horrible that you are in pain right now, even though you are completely innocent. And the man who did this should be in pain. Why does the bad person get to live? Why do bad things happen to wonderful people? You are so innocent in everything you do, and yet, you're the one who is in pain and losing your life." I didn't realize I was crying, but I am. I wipe my cheeks.
"And Ashton, someday I hope we meet again and can go back to normal. Like none of this happened. Can you really just be gone? I want you to know I feel so proud to be your girlfriend and to be a patt of your life, knowing what you've done in life. You have come so far and I am touched to know that.
"I love you, Ashton. And I never got the chance to say that and to tell you with full meaning to it. But I really do love you and I always will. You are the most beautiful, sweetest, kindest, funniest man I've met and I'm the luckiest woman to have been your girlfriend." I break into sobs and just weep at his bedside. I kneel down next to him and lay my head on his shoulder, after first making sure there isn't an injury there.
"Emma," a hoarse voice says.
I jump up, "Ashton?!"
"Emma.... Emma. Emma! Emma!! Let's go!" The same voice calls, getting stronger and stronger.
"Taylor?" I call out, recognizing my brother's voice.
"Wake up! You're going to be late for the concert, Emma!!" Taylor calls.
I sit up and I'm in my room. "Where's Ashton?!" I shout at my brother. "What did they do to him?! Did he make it?!"
"What the hell are you talking about? You mean Ashton aka the drummer of **5 es oh es**?" He asked with disgust in his voice.
"I wanna see Ashton - if he's alive, that is - right now!!"
"Dude, that's why mom and dad got tickets for you, right? But if you don't rush, you won't be going."
"What concert?"
"The one you're going to today. Remember?"
"Does that mean Ashton is alive?"
"I don't know, you're the one obsessed with him!"
"So he and I aren't dating?"
Taylor is laughing cruelly, "I hate to break it to you but he won't ever like you enough to date you."
Well that was hurtfull. "And they aren't on your baseball team?"
He laughs again, "Have I ever played baseball in my life?"
I'm laughing now, too. "True."
***
~Diary Entry~
The concert tonight was pretty great. I met them. It was weird though because I thiught Ashton died. I also looked at the others weird because of my dream. It was really freaky seeing Ashton not sick and not dead...I felt like we had so much chemistry and they had never even met me before. They definitely won't remember me.
