He was gone. We were done. I was an absolute asshole and at that point, I was single.
Luke ran into the room and asked, "why is Ash crying? Wait, why are you crying?" Looks like I was crying without knowing. Sigh. Luke slapped his forehead and mumbled, "Dammit..LOIS! SAV! BELLAAAA! Get in here and help Emma!!" He turned to them and spoke loud enough for me to hear it but I wasn't sure if I was supposed to be able to. "The guys and I are going to find Ash and help him out or some shit like that."
They nodded and sat on the bed next to me. They kept talking to me but I wasn't listening. I couldn't listen. He just walked out. Like...like he hadn't broken my heart. Like I meant nothing to him. He wasn't crying while he was in here with me.
I pulled out my phone, all the girls still talking. I pressed the "new message" button, scrolled through the contacts, and hit "♥♡My Lover♡♥" I cringed at the name. But something told me not to change it. I started rapidly typing. I couldn't see the keyboard through my tears but I wouldn't be an internet addict if I couldn't type without looking at the letters.
Here's what I wrote:
"Hey...I know you're probably 100% done with me and my shit, but I wanted to apologize. I was being overly rude to you to pay you back for earlier today, I guess. It wasn't right though.. if you can ever forgive me, I'd love to date again.... If not, I understand. Again, I'm sorry. That wasn't who I am."
I hit the send button and waited for a reply. I didn't even know if I would get one, but it felt good to send that message. I was getting very annoyed by the talking going on still. My phone alarm went off and it was a Facebook notification from Ash.. While we were dating, I had set it to tell me when he posted.
Naturally, I went to see what he posted. I wish I hadn't. It said "Being single doesn't feel to good..." along with the absolute cutest selfie ever, him sporting a pouty face. So it was true. He really broke up with me. It meant he actually was serious and available. Has he seen my text yet? Maybe he isn't going to reply. What if I can't talk to him again becasue he'll ignore me.
I don't even know why it hirt more when he posted about it. Maybe it was the several hundred girls saying they volunteer. Maybe it was the look in his eyes of being upset that I hadn't noticed before. I don't know what it was but it hurt more than his words to me in person.
So it was real. My phone rang again. I didn't want to read it. I just let it keep ringing. I hadn't noticed it had gone silent. Bella snatched my phone and scrolled though something, I guessed was messages or Facebook. Lois and Sav watched, surprised looks on their faces.
"Have you seen what he wrote back?" Sav asked me. I shook my head no.
Bella handed me back my phone so I could look at the message. "You might want to see this..."
Ashton had texted me, but so had Luke. I went to Ashton's first, assuming that's who they were talking about. It wasn't. "We need to discuss things in person before...you know, we get together again.. if we do." I was fine with that.
I went to my messages with Luke. It said "we found ash @ his house.he isnt gr8.not my place 2 explain tho xx"
The way Luke types annoys the shit out of my but at the moment, I didn't care. I was more worried about Ash. What happened to Ash? Why wasn't he okay?!
I texted them both back an "alrighty :-)"
Why did this curly haired boy make his fucking home in my heart?!
