The Divergent Series: Exponent

Afterwards: Tobias POV (Pt.1)

We drive past the fences and stop by the front doors, which are no longer manned by guards. We get out, and Zeke sizes his mother's hand to steady here as she shuffles through the snow. As we walk into the compound, I know for a fact that Caleb succeeded, because there is no one in sight. That can only mean that they have been reset, their memories forever altered.

"Where is everyone?" Amar says.

We walk through the abandoned security checkpoint without stopping. On the other side, I see Cara. The side of her face is badly bruised, and there's a bandage on her head, but that;s not what concerns me. What concerns me is the troubled look on her face.

"What is it?" I say.

Cara shakes her head.

"Where's Tris?" I say.

"I'm sorry, Tobias."

"Sorry about what?" Christina says roughly. Tell us what happened!"

"Tris went into the Weapons Lab instead of Caleb," Cara says. "She survived the death serum, and set off the memory serum, but she... she was shot. And she didn't survive. I'm so sorry."

Most of the time I can tell when people are lying, and this must be a lie, because Tris is still alive, her eyes bright and her cheeks flushed and her small body full of power and strength, standing in a shaft of light in the atrium. Tris is still alive, she wouldn't leave me here alone, she wouldn't go to the Weapons Lab instead of Caleb.

"No," Christina says, shaking her head. "No way. There has to be some mistake."

Cara's eyes well up with tears.

It's then that I realize: Of course Tris would go into the weapons lab instead of Caleb.

Of course she would.

Christina yells something, but to me her voice sounds muffled, like I have submerged my head underwater. The details of Cara's face have also become difficult to see, the world is smearing together into dull colors.

All I can do is stand still - I feel like if I just stand still, I can stop it from being true, I can pretend that everything is all right. Christina hunches over, unable to support her own grief, and Cara embraces her and all I'm doing is standing still.

I go to see her body ... sometime. I don't know how long it is after Cara tells me what happened. Christina and I walk shoulder to shoulder; we walk in Cara's footsteps. I don't remember the journey from the entrance to the morgue, really, just a few smeared images and whatever sound I can make out through the barriers that has gone up inside my head.

She lies on a table, and for a moment I think she's just sleeping, and when I touch her, she will wake up and smiles at me and press a kiss to my mouth. But when I touch her she is cold, her body stiff and unyielding.

Christina sniffles and sobs. I squeeze Tris' hand, praying that if I do it hard enough, I will send life back into her body and she will flush with color and wake up.

I turn away from her. I can't bring myself to look at her without crying. I want to scream, but I don't have the strength to do it.

Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I see a movement. I turn, thinking I'm crazy. I wait again, and nothing. Tears well up in my eyes. It was stupid of me to hope for anything. She's gone. I lost her. She's never coming back.

Then, I hear a breath. I turn and stare at her body, stiff, lifeless. Her face is still white, but it has more color than it did before. She takes another breath. I don't know if it's my imagination or if she really did. I don't care. I'm holding on to a little piece of hope that it's her, it's really her.

She takes another small breath and her lips part a little. She suddenly starts coughing. I run to her. I lift her up, but her eyes are still closed. She's lighter than she's ever been. She's weak. She takes another quick breath and tries to speak.

"H-help. Stomach. Pain. Shot," she croaks. It takes me a second to realize what she said.

"Tris," I say. It's my first instinct. But, then I see her wound. She must of been shot here. Then it hits me. I need to get help.

"Help!" I yell, at the top of my lungs. "She's awake, but barely breathing! We need a doctor!" Christina comes running towards us, tears in her eyes.

"What?" she says. Then she looks at Tris, and she's her breathing a little. "Oh my god! Tris... Help! We need help here!" she yells. Cara finally comes.

"What's going on?" she asks.

"Tris," I say, out of breath.