Desirable justice

Murder

When I was born I didn't scream or cry my mother being highly religious and superstitious from the first moment she had refused to hold me as I was what she would call 'devils child'.

I've never pitied my childhood if anything it's made me who I am it's funny how therapists will always tell you that the reason you are the way you are is down to childhood trauma I'd say although my childhood was something I'd never wish to relive me being the way I am was always going to happen.
I hate my mother but that hate comes from a place of relating to her unlike me who can put a mask on to play along with everyday life she was never capable of that.
She was empty but couldn't pretend to be full whereas I may be empty but I have no problem with pretending.

I've never really been challenged in my line of work as people see me as someone who doesn't get phased which isn't to far from the truth, it's not necessarily that I don't get phased but I don't know what that feels like. Don't get me wrong there have been times in my life where I've been shocked but to actually feel phased is something that I just don't understand I get annoyed when things don't go my way as it affects me but to allow another human being to phase me is uncommon for me.
Well that's what I thought...

Last night I was practically abducted so as I lay in  bed this morning the first common response would be fear or being frightened but I don't feel either of those for the first time probably in my life I just feel phased by another person.

I got no sleep last night as I twisted and turned thinking about her, the bothersome problem is that my thoughts that should be full with fear and concern were filled with wanting and desire. I want to get in her head to know what she's thinking and why she's playing with me but also if she did kill all those people I want to know why she did it the reasonings behind such brutal crimes.
However another part of me that I wish I could ignore and bury deep down inside me to a place where I can't access is the desire I have to have seen Rosaline murder them to  look into her eyes as she took there life's would I have seen remorse  or just the familiar look of nothingness that is all but new to me. Laying in bed last night I definitely confirmed to myself that Rosaline committed those crimes I don't know for certain but I almost hope she did I want her to have done.

Reaching over to my side table I pick up my mobile which has ten missed calls from my secretary which is very strange considering it's a Saturday morning, I make it very clear that during my weekends I don't want her contacting me so I instantly call her back knowing that it must be of importance.

" Hi Alice.." I hear her let out a shakey breath " I mean Miss Kennedy I have some bad news about one of your clients!."

This grabs my attention, I sit up straight putting the phone on speaker I notice how my heart immediately started thumping faster at the mention of bad news.

" Is it Rosaline!" I shout down the phone, probably a little to dramatically.

I hear her pause for a few seconds which panics me even more I clench my fists something unknown taking over me.

" Just answer me!"

"No it's not Miss Jameson, it's Elizabeth whilst in her holding cell she was murdered"

I breathe a sigh of relief which definitely isn't appropriate considering I've just heard a clients been killed.

" What happened" I ask.

" A prison warden had gone to her cell as they'd heard some weird noises when he'd found her she was face down on the floor with her face dismembered" she lets out another deep breathe which makes me anxious to hear what she's about to say next. " The problem is at the scene something unusual was found"