Head over heels for a woman who deceives him, Park Jimin drowns himself in sorrow only to wake in an alternate reality. Though he may not have actually drowned, he'll surely feel like a fish out of water.
|This is a BTS AU story. This story is an or...
AN: Before you read any further, please be warned that this chapter may be triggering to some readers as it contains self harm/suicide.
If any of my readers feel this way, please reach out for help. You are never alone.
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The water was the color of his favorite sweater. The dark blues and murky greens that his mother had been rightly convinced that he would love.
'It will keep you warm,' said his mother when she had gifted it to him right before he went to the performing arts school of his dreams. 'And it will always remind you of me.'
Unlike the warm sweater, the water he stood hip deep in was frigid to the touch. He felt a chill take over his body as his eyes looked from the surface of the water up to the almost starless night. There were only a few stars that were blinking into existence, but they seemed to be blinking out of existence just as fast. It was like they were camera flashes taking a picture of a crime scene that had yet to take place.
Like the cameras had taken pictures of his mother's lifeless body when she was murdered a month after he had left home for the performing arts school.
He closed his eyes, taking a step or two deeper into the water.
His mother had been the only family that he had other than her. Her. The woman that he had been with his entire life. Arielle. She had a name that danced off his tongue every time he said it. She helped him keep afloat so that he wouldn't drown under the weight of the grief he was experiencing.
She had been a blessing to him. He had loved her with everything he had to give, and she had...
Jimin took a deep breath of the night air. Inhaling this frigid air was like trying to swallow an icicle whole. He took a few more steps forward until the water was halfway up his chest. He let his hands float along the surface of the water, letting it run through his fingers. The wind picked up then, rushing over his cheeks and stirring up the water to chase waves towards the shore.
Arielle had been singing on the day she had betrayed him. He had come with roses and a heart full of love. He had, had a key to her apartment, so it had been easy to let himself in. He had taken his shoes off at the door so that he could sneak up on her. He had walked closer to the humming until he had just been right outside the kitchen doorway. It had been as he stuck his head around the corner that he saw...him.
He closed his eyes as the tears burned as they became trapped behind his eyelids. His body wanted to expel water and become one with the water he stood in. At least the water was welcoming him. It was easier to accept that he belonged somewhere instead of the fact that he was now completely alone.
The water was now up to his chin as he let his feet step forward more. He had never been a stellar swimmer, especially not weighed down the way he was. He looked down. His white t-shirt was completely soaked through to the skin now. He felt the shiver taking over him as he clenched his teeth to try to keep them from chattering. His hands felt tingly as the water kissed them numb. The further he walked forward, the more it felt like the water had gripped his ankles to try to tug him down underneath the surface. The rocks that he had put in his pockets were helping to keep the pressure downwards and make it harder for his frigid limbs to stay afloat.
He cast his eyes upwards at the photographing stars. He wondered if his mother was among the stars somewhere and if she was looking down on him now. Would she find him cowardly?
"I miss you..." he breathed out, choking down the sob in his throat. "And I'm sorry...I can't do this."
He felt the tears trickle slowly down his cheeks. It was as if even his emotions were dying. The tears didn't come nearly as fast as they did at his mother's death, or at Arielle's betrayal.
'You weren't supposed to see that, Jimin.'
'I thought you loved me.'
'I didn't know how to tell you.'
'Tell me what?'
'I fell out of love. I stayed with you because...'
'Because what?'
'I pitied you...'
Jimin closed his eyes as the tears froze on his cheeks. He leaned back so that the back of his head was lying against the water. He then spread his arms out on either side of him before doing the same to his legs. For one moment, it felt like he was completely weightless. Carefree.
His eyes opened to catch one star - brighter than the rest - capturing his descent under the waves.
