Power and Lies

Thirty-Four

"There is no such thing as paranoia. Your worst fears can come true at any moment."
-Hunter S. Thompson

"I don't know about this one, Tommy." Arthur scowled at his brother through the smokey haze of the corner booth. "Seems like a bit of a big risk." Tommy was used to his families complaints and disregards in plans that, ultimately, worked themselves out. This time, however, he did wonder if his brother was actually right. Taking on a partner in London could be terribly risky, but he was not sure they would be safe without one, and he needed his family safe.

London had been a sore spot for him for years, and his one true failure at this point. However, he planned to change that soon. But first, partners must be made. He lit a smoke and brought it to his lips, trying his best to seem without doubt, but his brother could see through him, he was sure. Thankfully, he kept it to himself.

He was ready to return home in the morning, to see his wife and rest in his own bed. The meeting today with Alfie had gone as well as he could expect, and things were starting to look up. If he played every card correctly, this would go seamlessly. And that was a big if.

"We will meet again in three weeks time and we will be solidifying our deals. We will have no more speak of business tonight, Arthur." His brother looked unhappy, but did fall silent. Taking another sip of his drink Tommy thought of his wife, and what she must be doing. Truthfully, he did feel a small bit of guilt at lying to her, but it was easier for her to believe he was looking at horses rather than business deals with her weakened emotional state as of late. The evening was giving way into night, and he knew she was probably asleep in bed, snoring softly as she had begun to do and tossing the covers around. He felt for her, she seemed terribly uncomfortable in her body, but there was nothing he could do for her. A fact that made this trip even more easy on him- he could not see her misery. Never did he think himself capable of being a weak man after France, but Freya's pain brought him to his knees each and every time. To cut her was to make him bleed.

"Thinking on Freya again, eh?" Arthur asked him, a lopsided grin on his face. "Won't be long now and we'll have another little Shelby running around causing trouble." The thought was enough to make Tommy smile. The prideful part of him was excited to see his carbon copy, but his heart raced at the idea of the child being like him. He wanted so much more for the little one. But it would be a Shelby, and Shelby blood would be in it's veins, and that was a sin he could never take back.

"S'pose it won't be will it." The previous months had flown by with all the Shelby Company proceedings to be dealt with. He had never had so much on his plate, or so many people on his payroll. He was pulling so many strings at once he sometimes felt as though he was going to go mad. There were times he wanted to grab his opium and sleep until it was over, London was taken, Grace and the coppers were gone forever, and his company was thriving. Then he could wake up and deal with it all. The anvil could fall on another. The inspector had, thankfully, been easier to get rid of than he had thought with careful navigations, but he knew it would be temporary. There would be a moment where they were all playing parts once more in another mans game to keep their own attached to their shoulders. But he would deal with that when the time came. For now he was to be a father, and that must be the thing he cared most about.

"You're going to be a father, Tommy, how does that feel?" He merely shrugged and took another drag from his smoke. There were not enough words to tell his brother what it felt like. Terror, happiness, peace, yet horrifying. Such a combination of feelings he had not had since returning, and that had been a whole worlds army bringing them about- this was one small baby. He threw his drink back, taking the rest down in one swallow before setting the glass back down.

"I think it best we sleep now, we have to go back early tomorrow." Arthur nodded his agreement and the two men went to their separate rooms. It did not take Tommy long to fall asleep, his mind traveling through memories of his wife.

The ride back was arduous, with a storm causing trees to blow off their branches and large puddles to form in the road, and by the time Tommy opened his front door he was thankful to have made it back at all. He had seen his brother back and raced to his house, throwing open the heavy wooden door with ease. His feet carried him up the stairs to his room where he quickly discarded his wet clothing near the fire and replaced them with dry ones before making his way out into the hall in search of his wife.

He found her in the parlor, her body draped over a chaise lounge, eyes closed. She looked more peaceful than he had seen in a long while, and he hated the idea of waking her. He sunk to the floor, his eyes never leaving her. He studied her nose, thin and straight, and her lips- so perfectly pouty. Not too large, but not too thin. He looked to her eyelashes and the way they curled perfectly upward, and her cheekbones, once pronounced, but now slightly hidden by the weight gained from pregnancy. It gave her a youthful look, and even in her sleep she looked happy, her eyebrows relaxed and expression innocent. He nearly reached out to trace the softness of her jawline, but stopped himself at the last minute. It had been a long time since he took a moment to appreciate the beauty of his wife, often overlooking it to give worship to her mind and spirit, but in this moment he was enraptured looking upon her.

Life was a maze of difficulty, with his family each living lives he must follow and compensate for, and the business taking him where it needed him, but in this moment he was able to breathe. If only for a second, he could breathe.

When she began to stir he stood, as to not frighten her with his closeness and waited for her to open her eyes. When she did he was in love all over again. "You're back," she whispered and he nodded.

"The horses were fine. How are you feeling?" She dragged herself up to a seated position and shrugged.

"I feel okay." She was lying and he knew it.

"I heard the doctor told you to rest from here on." He thought to the phone call Ada had given him the day before when he had nearly laughed at her stubbornness if had not been for his sisters irritation at the situation. "Good to see you are finally listening."

Freya chuckled, the effort of making the sound happen all over her face. He thought he would cripple with the pain she was experiencing and yet she still managed to smile to make him happy. This was not the life he ever thought he could have. This was made for good men, and Thomas Shelby was many things, but he was not a good man. "Where did you sleep?"

"In the hallway." He laughed for a moment thinking it a joke but grew serious when he noticed the truthful expression his wife held.

"Why did you not sleep in the bed?"

"I was too tired. I am far too tired to go anywhere."

"And now?" She stretched her arms out, her face wincing with pain. "Are you alright?" She rubbed her back with her thumbs as a groan escaped her and Tommy dropped down to his knees to look at her. She was beginning to pale, he realized, and sweat was forming on the brow that only minutes before had been so relaxed. "Freya?"

She looked to him and he felt his heart jump, she was miserable now, and for all her efforts, she could not hide it.

"I-" She groaned again, before standing to her feet and nearly doubling over. Tommy grabbed at his wife, concern growing deep within him. He yelled quickly for a maid to help him to take her to the car. She would need a hospital, that much was evident. When the maid appeared Freya looked at her with the same pained and maddened expression she had given him and the maid nodded at her, some unspoken truth flowing between the two of them. Within seconds the maid had grabbed her under the arms to help support her and together they took her to the door.

"I'll go get the car," he spoke to his wife who nodded, her skin growing more pale with the seconds passing. He tried to remain calm as he let her go, letting her prop herself against the door as he ran to the car.

Within seconds he had the car started and headed towards the house, making it in just enough time to watch his wife collapse in the doorway, the rain coming down around her.

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