I know that I haven't written for 4 days the last time I wrote was 12/12 and today as I'm writing in the morning it's 12/16. I can say that there weren't many things that I could write about that happened during those day except a nightmare I had recently.
The next part is described as it was in my dream and I might've put quite some detail to it. Don't read if your uncomfortable.
In case you want to read what the nightmare was about beware. Someone dies at the end of it.
I can't remember when I had this nightmare all I can remember is that I saw a car with 3 people inside at the edge of a rocky cliff. There was the driver which was a female and 2 males inside. One was at the seat behind the driver while the other was right next to him. One of the I could see how the male behind the driver was terrified, but he passed out without anyone noticing, his window had been open, and I could hear how the driver said that if anyone were to poke their head out the window they could die. There were rocks falling and since no one took notice of the male passed out and with the car shaking violently his head went out the window.
Just then I woke up, I have to say that afterwards I couldn't go back to sleep afraid that it would come back. So, I forced myself to stay awake for the rest of the night being on my phone and reading a story that I had started reading. I must admit that after the nightmare I was sleepy, but I didn't allow myself to be able to go back to sleep. Yesterday I didn't type anything and so today I wanted to type somethings that were in my head, just some random thoughts. Yesterday I was surprised that so far this week I have been able to sleep well, unlike previous weeks that in total I only got a least a few hours of sleep but so far this week after talking I have been a whole lot better than I was before. I would always use some time to read, but whenever I was reading a book, I would always feel as if that were one way that I would be able to escape reality even if it's only for a while. I would often feel as I were somewhere different then I was. I often found myself reading a book to be able to escape from something going on. I decided that not only would I try my best to keep writing in here, but I would also try my best to get better and try and basically be a better version of myself, but instead of pretending most of the time, I want it to be all real. I want to be able to stop hiding everything, except for some things that I doubt I'll be able to tell anyone soon. I would also find myself listening to music more often than I realized. I always wanted to be able to learn something new by myself and I have been trying to learn different dances recently. I've felt with more energy lately that I wanted to try and learn a few dances. So far, I've been able to learn 2 dances, and I'm trying to learn 3 more dances, well more like remember without the video.
I'm excited but nervous next month there will be a spring showcase, and I'm going to be one of the dancers to perform one the first dance. I still can't get some parts right but I'm making sure that I keep practicing.
Anyways hope you have a great day/night. Stay safe everyone.
