Dance Academy

Christian Part 2

*Christian's POV*

Right after Tara left I kept beating myself up in my head asking myself 'Why did you have to fall for her? Why couldn't you just stay friends with her it would have been easy? Why don't you just tell her how you feel? Why did you ask her to go to a fancy place and dress fancy when she just broke up with her boyfriend? Why did you have to basically tell her that you wanted to give our relationship another try when I knew she just broke up with someone? When are you going to get the balls to tell her that she's the girl you want to be with for the rest of your life? When are you going to stop holding in your feelings for her and just let them out? When are you going to show her that you love her? Why did you try to kiss her instead of telling her your true feelings? Why didn't she kiss me? Did my breathe smell bad? Did I have something in my teeth? Why did she have to be different? Why do I love her? Why do I go insane when I am with her? Why can't I get answers to these questions?'

I was brought out of my thoughts when there was a knock on the door

*Knock, Knock*

"Hey Christian" Ryan walked through the door when I opened the door

"What do you want?" I asked him in a 'I don't care if you want to talk to me I just want to be alone' look

"What's wrong with you?"

"Everything is wrong with me" I yelled at him

"Don't get mad at me I did nothing. I just wanted to see if you were okay about what happened. I was on my way over here to see if you had my video game still and I saw Tara run out of the house. "So what's really bothering you?"

"Ryan what's your feelings like when you are with Kat like the first time you saw her, the first time you guys went on a date, first time you kissed her?"

"When I first saw Kat me and her were young. I didn't have feelings for her at first because I just saw her as my best friend but when I saw her again couple years ago I still thought of her as my best friend but one day I got really sick. My parents weren't in London and I had no friends that would take care of me because the doctor said that I needed someone to watch over me and Kat she was the one that brought me to the doctors, she stayed with me everyday, every night when I was in the hospital. When they released me she stayed at my place until I got better and this one day I woke up and I saw her making soup for me. I sat up on the couch and I just looked at her and when she turned around to smile at me I knew that in that moment I liked her more than a friend and that I knew that she was no longer just my best friend. In that moment I knew that things would change. The day that I asked her out was the most nervous day ever because I had never felt that way about a girl before and I wanted it to be special so when we did go on our first date I was sweating a lot, I kept on saying the wrong things, I kept on walking back and forth hoping that she would show up, when she did my heart started racing, I almost passed out after I saw her. After the date was over I thought she would never want to go out with me ever again but when I walked her to the door of her house she kissed me and when we kissed I felt like I could have a future with her, my knees were weak, my heart was like ready to jump out of my chest. She was my first love and is going to be my last love and that's something I will never ever forget. Why do you ask?"

"I'm just wondering-" I about to finish my sentence when Liam cut me off

"What's bothering you? And don't try dancing around the subject because you do that all the time when you are trying to avoid something or you just don't want to talk about something that happened. I saw Tara run out of the house crying and I know for a fact that she won't tell me and she would tell Kat that she is fine so tell me"Ryan said with a angry face on with a little bit of concern

"What's bothering me is Tara"

"What do you mean?"

"Tara makes me go insane. When she was dating my friend Ethan I betrayed him and kissed her, when they broke up I moved right in and asked her out. Everything I thought I would never do I did because of Tara and it's killing me not to tell her how I feel about her" I paced back and forth

"How do you feel about her?"

"When I'm not with her all I want is to be with her and then when I'm with her my heart races to the point where I'm having a hard time breathing. When me and her kiss I feel something that I've never felt with any other girl. When she is with another guy and not with me I always beat myself up asking myself 'Why is she with him and not me? What does he have that I don't?'. Words can't describe what I feel for her. I don't know why she makes me feel this way. She is the first girl to make me feel like this. When she was with you and Kat in Berlin I wrote her letters every week she was there. Why is it that writing what you feel is easier than saying them to someone ?" I explained everything

"That's called love dude. It's easier to write your feelings down because you know what you want to say but when you tell the person you love what you feel to their face it's harder because the words that you want to say can't come out or they come out wrong"

"The reason Tara ran out crying is because me and her almost kissed"

"Oh my god dude. What are you going to do?" He asked

"I am going to talk to her tomorrow about it and hope that she will go on a date with me. Well I am going to bed if you want you can spend the night and sleep on the couch" I got up from the couch and turned out the lights walking to the door fame of my bedroom

"Night" Ryan shouted

I need to find away to tell Tara my true feelings for her or I am going to lose her one day and I can't bare the thought of her leaving me. Maybe tomorrow could be the day I tell her my true feelings.