̷W̷e̷.̷ 𝐈 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐝 [MINSUNG] Book Two

Chapter 37

Dystopian euphoria. An oxymoron. A contradiction.

But it felt oddly right. Temporarily right.

It was relieving, but only because he pushed the negative counterpart far, far down.

He pulled away from the kiss, a strange unreadable look on his face. "That was-"

"-wrong and we should never do it again," Seungmin cut him off.

Minho smirked. "Really?"

Seungmin suddenly had an exasperated expression. "It, we can't, i don't know what.. Went down but this, it isn't, we.. We.." he interrupted himself by pulling Minho back towards him and kissing him again, holding his head gently between his hands. While Minho just held onto his upper arms again.

This continued for half a minute before Minho pulled away again, just enough so that he was still speaking over the younger's lips in a breathy whisper. "So that's what a relapse feels like."

Seungmin looked at him with a blank expression. "I don't know what we're doing."

"Neither do I," Minho responded, now running his thumb over Seungmin's cheek.

"I don't know whether or not you're using me."

Minho frowned now, taking a full step back to look the other in his eyes. "I actually don't know either."

Seungmin inhaled sharply, then breathed out slow. "Minho I don't usually experience confusion. Barely ever. This is overwhelming. And I can't stay objective. Can I.." he trailed off, feeling embarrassed.

"What?"

"Can I bring Hyunjin into this conversation?"

Minho smiled. "Wow. I really threw you off balance if you think he could stay objective."

"No I know he won't.. But it's a third opinion nonetheless."

"Why not one of the others, who know nothing of the fact that this," he gestured between the two of them. "Has actually been fluctuating since forever."

"Because I want Hyunjin to have a say in whatever decision we make. If you refuse, then we won't even talk about it. If you refuse to let him join the discussion-"

"I know I know," Minho stopped him and closed his eyes.

Seungmin walked to the wall and leaned his back against it, slowly sliding down until his butt hit the floor and his head fell into his hands. "You only do this when there's a problem. Why don't I just.. Help you solve it? Instead of doing this.. Whatever this is."

Minho sighed. "Because the problem can only be solved with time. I need time. To process, to collect my thoughts, and my emotions."

"And this," Seungmin spread his arms to refer to the entire situation. "Is how you do that?" he laughed right after finishing the sentence. "Why do I even ask? I already know it's what you do. Why am I even surprised?"

"It's a reoccurring theme, isn't it? I keep doing it."

"Ever think about how Jisung would feel?"

"We're not together so-"

"Pardon ? I thought you said-"

"I lied. We broke up. It's a breakup. I didn't tell him either."

Seungmin scoffed and stood up, walking to Minho with a finger pointed right at him. "You hearing yourself right now? You justified our little engagement by saying you two aren't together, then proceeded to say that he doesn't even know you're not together? Oh good fuck Minho do you realize how shitty you're being?"