The Highlander's Charm

Fifteen

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Flinn

...

I know it is no business of mine to listen in on the two very men I've rejected in a single evening... But knowing that I am the topic of their conversation I cannae help but strain my ears to try and hear them better... If anything... Out of fear that they both now hate me...

A thought that I oddly cannae stand...

I know I should make my heart let go of the vampire Emory... And that I should try and find a way to live in peace with Baigh kept at arm's length...

But part of me fears that peace may be impossible if both of them have hate in their hearts for me...

This cannae be the best way for me to calm my nervousness before meeting with Papa later... But somehow... I cannae look away... Nor can I focus my ears on anything other than their vastly disappearing voices as they slowly make their way further and further away from me... Towards the one safe haven I thought I had left... The barns and all of the cattle and chickens that I've found myself bonding with and caring for in place of making actual friendships with my kin as we thrive here in our safe haven from the war...

"I'm not his soulmate... I am the lad's friend... He's made that much clear." The sadness in Emory's voice causes my heart to ache almost as much as the hoarseness and exhaustion also present does... The fact that he's calling me a friend is a small solace in the midst of all of the pain that I've caused the two of us and Baigh...

Baigh's own response seeming just as ragged in such a different way, "Aye... I see... I'm afraid that'll likely be my fault...  If I hadn't told his father I was smitten the old wolf would likely be open to Flinn mating outside of the pack..."

"I can understand why it would be easy enough to fall for him... But... Don't think I'll be forgiving you anytime soon, Lad... Especially not after seeing him cry this afternoon." For some reason... The vampire's words offer me a small bit of peace... Even though I know that the kind of a challenge I hear in his fading voice may cause drama inside the pack that I am not ready to handle any time soon...

"Donna worry or flatter yourself... I'll not be forgiving myself either... I knew better than to kiss..."

Just as I find myself leaning out of the window to hear just a bit better my eavesdropping is interrupted by a sharp knock on me door that makes me jump... My shot nerves are not nearly ready fo be confronted with anyone right now... Much less than the person I can smell outside my door... Papa clearly having left dinner early as well to come and check on me like the good father he is, "Flinn? I'm coming in, son."

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Emory

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It hurts to be having this conversation... But I think I would rather be having this conversation with Baigh... Who has already figured Flinn and me out... Then with the leader of this pack... Who to my understanding... Would punish the slight wolf that holds my heart and run me off...

And right now... Being able to be close and at least a silent friend of my pup is better than being turned out into the cold... With no home to actually return to...Where the constant reminder that I've lost my home and my village... And everyone else that I've ever cared about...

I know that the day will come when eventually I'll need to take my leave of here... But for now... Everything in my being needs to stay here and keep an eye on my fragile would-have-been soul mate... His tears that I've witnessed so very soul-breaking that I do'na think it would be right for me to leave... Not when it seems so clear that Flinn needs a friend... Someone he can lean on without pressure or worry over having to fend off unwanted advances...

I canna help but want to be that person... To be in his life any way that he'll accept me... As a friend rather than a lover works for me as long as I still get to occasionally stand beside him and know that I've done what I can to make his life better...

"Which heifer do you want? Or should I set you up at a bull?" Baigh had fallen quiet after making it known that he regrets and feels guilt over kissing Flinn when he had no indication or right to earlier... Though I think both of us know that that is a burden he shall have to bear until Flinn forgives him... If... Flinn forgives him...

But now he speaks up, his question thoughtful as if there is truly a difference between one heifer and the next... "Just one thats not milking or an old bull will do me... And... Thank you."

Without his aid, I wouldna been able to make it down here myself... And it would have felt awkward to ask others for help hobbling down here to the barn when so few pack members are actually aware of how weak I currently am despite having fed just earlier...