The Highlander's Charm

Four

It hurt to pull away from him... It hurt to have to say the words and watch the pain they cause us both work its way across the vampire's handsome face as he echoes them back to me, "What do you mean I haven't? Can you not smell me, Pup?"

"I can smell you..." His scent had been what had lured me so far up the road in the first place even though Papa had warned me time and time again that I needed to stay near the castle to stay safe from anyone who might wander into our territory accidentally or otherwise, "I can smell ye..." and I wish so very badly that I could do more than making sure he got out of the sun before it was too late, but, "But I cannae accept you I'm afraid..."

Papa would skin us both alive if I ever entertained the idea, his mind seemingly set on waiting for me to wake up and suddenly decide that his beta Baigh is the one for me even though I've told them both again and again that his scent didnae do anything for me on any given occasion... Papa had made it clear that he'd settle for handing me over to no one else, and I cannae imagine him accepting an unknown vampire as an equal substitution as long as his strong right hand is alive and bull-headed as ever in terms of his affection for me.

...

Emory

...

It is a blow to my very being to hear such words tumble from my bonnie Flinn, the hurt in his own eyes mirroring mine in a way that makes this all the more confusing... I can see tears swimming in his eyes as he stares up at me with all of his saddened beauty and yet he pulls himself away from me with such purpose that I cannae even think to step after him as he slips his way down the ladder that had brought me here so recently, not even a last glance being spared my way as he takes his hastened leave.

He offered no explanation for his answer to our bond... Though it's not as if he owes me one... I'm a random soldier he had decided to take mercy on... Not part of the pack... Not claimed by any clan... I've got no claim on him other than the fact that his smell makes my heart sing, even if at the moment his rejection makes it feel as though my heart has stopped beating altogether... 

I'm not sure how long I stand there... Staring at where he had been standing so bashfully in front of me before I have the will to move... My feet only caring to walk me over to the very same pile of hay that he had been napping in in order to sit next to it, my fingers seeking out the residual heat from where he had laid as it slips quickly away from me just as he had...

Maybe it's only deserving that my bonnie lad rejects me... I had failed the people I had been charged with protecting... They had all died waiting for me to put an end to the bloody war rampaging on in the world just outside the Bower's territory borders though you would never guess it with how peaceful things seem here... 

I had disturbed their bubble of isolation and had been welcomed to stay... And stay I shall have to now that I have nowhere to return to, what is left of my old home holding no appeal now that it serves as a mass grave to the families I had come to cherish so much. 

...

Flinn

...

If I had had any idea that walking away from the vampire that has had such a hold on my mind since his discovery would destroy me so on the inside I wouldn't have done it... Or at least I would have done it slower so it would not have shocked my system so...

By the time I make it back inside the castle walls I'm near weeping, my hands both pressing against my chest to try and calm the angry beating of my heart as it riots against my decision... The decision that would save us both so much agony in the long run... It's for the best... 

And yet my aching heart does not listen to my pleas for it to calm itself so that I might attempt to draw a breath, a pair of arms encircling me just as my legs can stand no more, a crooning all too familiar falling onto my hair as Baigh comforts what he does not know is my grief over the very man his affections bar me from which only makes everything seem that much worse. 

It's hard not to recoil from the kiss that gets pressed to my hair by the persistent older wolf that always seems to pop up wherever I wander, his hands having been the ones that had helped me bring that bloody vampire here in the first place. 

"Flinn, a night terror again is it?" Even through my tears, I can hear the quiet hope that always lurks in his voice whenever he speaks to me... Who knows... Maybe now that I've shattered my heart to pieces it will heal in a way that might allow me to love him the way he wishes me to. 

It is easiest to nod my head yes to his assumption than it would be to try and explain that it feels as though I've plunged a dagger into my own belly and twisted the hilt until the damn thing broke... 

And Baigh... Baigh being the man that he is finds it in himself to tuck one of his arms under the backs of my knees careful to catch the hem of my kilt so that it won't hang open and lifts me, whatever course he had been on redirected towards my room, soft words landing on my ears in an attempt to calm me... To soothe away the hurt caused by another man and it only makes the tears falling from my eyes double the guilt and grief they contain for the pain I've caused not one man... But two...My poor mate... And poor Baigh... So much harm I've caused.