The Golden Ring • ChanBaek | ENG

[CHAPTER 060]

         I blinked in surprise, I mean, I wasn't surprised that SeungHyun was here at Kibum's house, somehow felt he was going to be here, but I didn't expect this... My best friend's boyfriend lives here with him. I never thought that they this serious about their relationship.

Can my relationship be this serious with Chanyeol? That would be so great.

I saw how much the blonde wanted to ask me what happened, because when I called him, I just told him I needed his help, but I think he saw it on my face that I didn't wanted to talk about it.

When I slept at his house, I always slept on a mattress in his room, but since SeungHyun now lives here, I will be in the guest room. I entered the room, pulling the suitcase behind me. I sat on the bed which had nothing on it, makes sense cause' Kibum isn't using it.

I open the big suitcase, a sigh immediately leaves my throat. The clothes were stuffed into it, showing that my dad didn't care about me at all, and it hurts a lot, since I lived with him for eighteen years, and I may hate physical contacts he was the one who raised me.

What I didn't like, however, when he said my disgust was just a disguise to hide my sexuality, which is very far from the truth. I still have no idea what might have happened to me a long time ago that caused me to be like this, and now that CHanYeol has agreed to this 'relationship' I might be able to ask my mother ... since I never did because I was afraid of an answer.

There was a soft knock on the door and I lifted my head.

"You can come in."

My best friend peered in, immediately glanced down at my crumpled clothes, the enlightenment on his face showed that he knows something bad happened to me. I love how he knows me so much, he just have to look at the things around me and he can already filter out what's going on.

"I'm about to make dinner, so I thought I'd ask you what you want to eat."

I smiled... I'm blessed that he is my best friend, others would be lurking in my aura, asking fifty thousand times what was wrong.

"Whatever is fine" I'm not that hungry anyways, if I try to force anything down my throat I'll probably throw up.

He nods and leaves the room quietly.

I picked up my phone, pressed on the messages, and stared at Chanyeol's name with sly eyes. When we had that first kiss in the forest, we decided to walk back to the hotel where we changed phone numbers, he said I could call him anytime I wanted to talk to him, but I had no time for anything in the last week, even though I really wanted to write him.

What can I tell him at all, especially now? That my dad sent me away and now I'm living with my best friend? I would feel pathetic for being banned from the house I was born in, I had to leave the four walls that surrounded and protected me for eighteen years.

I bit my lip and sent him a hi, but I didn't expect him to respond, so I was surprised when he greeted me back almost immediately.

I smiled at that, my heart filled with happiness.

We started talking about all sorts of random things. I thought he wasn't going to use emojis, but there were examples of him sending out a series of laughing ones.

I mean I don't know what was I expecting, that he can't use emojis?I was so drawn in by my phone I didn't even notice when Kibum opened the door, I heard his voice first telling me that dinner is ready. I said goodbye to Chanyeol who texted me back, saying "are u leaving me?"

I find it really cute, I can imagine him pouting at the phone. I decided to banter a little so I didn't write anything back. I put the device in my pocket as I was leaving the room. I walked straight down to the kitchen where Seunghyun was showering Kibum's face with kisses, the blonde tried to push him away while giggling softly.

Ah.. they're so cute, but I feel a little.. embarrassed about the romantic cloud that is surrounding them.

I cleared my throat and Seung let Kibum go immediately, just like last time, he blushed and sat down on the chair, I settled down too and although I'm not hungry, it would be pretty disrespectful if I didn't eat at least one bite. I know how Bummie can be when it's about the food he made.

I quietly thanked him for the food and picked up the fork and started eating. I don't know why, but I hate using chopsticks, I know it's tradition thing or whatever but it doesn't matter to me, the food is going to end up in my stomach anyways.

This silence is seriously uncomfortable, I'm used to having my parents talk about everything, or if I was alone with the blonde he would never stop talking but now..

When I felt I had enough, I stood up, knowing my best friend didn't like it when his guests were cleaning up. I remember the first time I came here, I wanted to wash the dishes and he literally hissed at me like some angry cat telling me that he will clean up after me, so I'd rather let him do what he wanted.

As I was going upstairs I heard them laughing about something.. So it was me, they didn't talk because of me..

I took off the uncomfortable pants, put the phone down on the nightstand. I opened the closet where Kibum is keeping the pillows and the blankets. I put them on the bed then layed on it. I pulled the blanket all the way to my ears nad curled up like some hedgehog.

I didn't even notice my face getting wet from the salty tears that flowed down my skin unstoppably. So far I tried to keep the tears in, trying to be stronger, but I feel so weak.

Dad, I'm sorry I didn't become what you expected me to be. I'm sorry I'm not as muscular as my brother, I'm sorry but I'll never find myself a girlfriend and I'm not going to marry her and I'm not going to have kids. Forgive me for being gay and I hope ... one day in the distant future you may be able to accept me a call me your son again.