The Golden Ring • ChanBaek | ENG

[CHAPTER 2. 048]

        Watching Yeol packing his things that he brought over caused me almost to cry and it didn't help at all when he kissed me goodbye.

I know this isn't the last time I'll see him, but regardless, I'd run after him and beg him to stay with me.

I'm so weak when it comes to that. As much as I want to hate him more than anything, after being depressed because of him, I can't.

However, Jaebum's arrival made me forget about Chanyeol for a while. As soon as he appeared at my place with that charming smile and a packet of chocolates, I jumped into his neck and kissed him.

Four days without him was terrible, as I was used to him being with me all the time. The workplace also became much more boring, not to mention that Felix took advantage of Jae's absence and didn't hesitate to say hurting words to me as often he could.

That man is so ridiculous! If he's in love with Jaebum, he can tell him, I won't stop him. He can stop taking out his jealousy on me. Not to mention that he started growing his hair out and while it was blonde, he dyed it brown like mine.

I don't know whether to pity him or be angry.

And now I can't even tell him that Jaebum and I are just friends, because we are not, but I can't help that Jaebum fell in love with me.

Sitting on his lap, while I was munching on the candy he brought, I felt remorse. Yesterday, I was sitting on the same sofa, in the same position, with Yeol..

I'm not doing anything wrong, I still feel bad about it. I'd better come to terms with my feelings as soon as possible before I hurt them.

What would Kibum do in my place?

Ahh.. I really should write something back to him, but his past completely shocked me, I'm somehow afraid to answer his letter. It would be amazing if he came back into my life though.

But that wouldn't be the same, since he already lives in London with Seunghyun. Would he visit me? And if we reconcile, does that mean I get Seung back too?

I could even ask them for advice. Although maybe Kibum would be against all of this... or not and, he would say something like;

"Two guys in love with you? At least you'll never be horny! I'd take advantage of them if I was you!"

I can even imagine his face. Seung would give me some ancient wisdom that I would listen to and think about, but in the end I wouldn't listen to him and he would nag me about it.

Hah... I miss when we spent our days as students as a trio. Being an adult, taking responsibility for everything, is damn annoying.

With Kibum and Seung, we didn't have to worry about how much we drank in a day or what stupid things we did after we got drunk.. I wish they would move back to Seoul, but they have their own lives too.

I should have gotten off the dream-land train a long time ago. Of course, I have Jessi and Sehun here, but I'm afraid that everything will go wrong before I can make a decision.

It's not like I don't trust them, but I have a feeling that they wouldn't be able to understand me. Though I didn't talked to them a lot lately, because Jaebum always took up my time.

Yeah.. I should visit Jessi, she could cut some of my hair before it really gets so long that it reaches my bottom, and bleach again the few strands that have already grown out, because it's starting to look really stupid.

And she will be happy to hear that I forgave Yeol.

"Wow, how can you be so selfish?," Jae said suddenly, to which I jumped and looked at him with bulging eyes.

"Whatcha said?" I asked as I munched on the orange-chocolate.

"You didn't leave me a single piece," he blinked, holding up the empty box.

"Why would've I left you one? You bought it for me," I shrugged carelessly.

"Haven't you heard of sharing?" he asked, not as if I had paid attention to him, because I picked out another piece that must have fallen out of my fingers when I grabbed it in the box.

Grinning, I reached for the candy, picked it up and waved in front of him. I slowly unwrapped the chocolate and put it in front of his lips, but before he could eat it, I quickly pulled it away and threw it into my own mouth.

"You fucker-!" he grabbed my waist, pushed me down on the coush, held my arm above my head with one hand, while with the other he pulled up my shirt and pressed his face into my stomach and started blowing air, and I immediately started to laughing while squirming.

"Jae, stop it!" tears came out of my eyes from laughing to hard.

"Why should I? Oh? Are you ticklish?" he continued.

With a difficulty, I freed myself from his grip and grabbed his hair and pulled him away from me.

"Enough you fool. I'm covered in your saliva," I licked my teeth, making sure that they would not remain chocolatey. "I'll buy some for you tomorrow. You don't like the orange ones anyway. Don't be hysterical."

"Because the orange one is disgusting," he grimaced.

"This comes from a guy who loves the coconut one," I tugged at his locks, to which he just rolled his eyes while smiling. "By the way... Will you tell me where you were?" I let him go and pushed my upper body up with my elbows.

He took a deep breath and his whole demeanor changed, he looked so serious all of the sudden, so that scared me a litte.

"Like I said, I went home. You know, I don't come from a rich family, in fact.. Not many people know that I grew up on a farm that wasn't really doing well. I always planned to stay there and live the rest of my life on the farm, as there was so much to do and I didn't want everything to be left to my parents and my younger brother. Mother, on the other hand, wanted me to live a normal life, finish school, and get a decent job. Although it was difficult to leave home, in fact, I was terrified of the big city, the people, getting to know someone... Eventually I was able to fit in, I made many friends, good ones, some bad ones. However, while in the beginning I went home a lot to continue on helping out my family, when I fell in love with Youngjae... I neglected them. I ignored them when they called me, I didn't answer their messages either. Youngjae didn't deserve me, he constantly argued with me about everything, anyone I talked to, he immediately thought I was cheating on him, but that didn't bother me, I was so in love with him.. After that.." he stopped for a few moments, changed the position of his position to a more comfortable one, and his eyes quickly filled with tears. "There was an accident on the farm. Mother didn't survive," he sniffed, wiping his face.

Even though I knew he lost his mother because Minseok and Jongdae told me, it hurts more to hear from him..

"Then I decided that nothing and no one is more important than my family... and... I know you don't want me to say it, but I've never been so sure about something. After Youngjae, I lost faith in love until you came along. You don't have to say it back, but I love you and I want you to belong to me.. I want you to meet my father and my brother, to see where I lived when I was a kid.. and-"

I slowly smiled, pushed myself up with my arm and slided closer to him.

I was wrong.. There was nothing fishy going on with Jaebum.

This guy is perfect, maybe too perfect.

But after all, don't I deserve this? To finally be honestly happy?

Biting my lip, I placed my palm on his knee.. There is no way I say no to him.

"I belong to you," I pushed down his leg so I could climb back into his lap. "Only to you," I leaned on his lips.

I have to tell Chanyeol that we... we really don't have a future anymore. Even if I love him, I need something new, not the old.

I may miss Yeol, but he was the one who broke me first.

This doesn't mean that I completely withdraw from him, but I can't be weak anymore when he's near me, because I don't want to suffer anymore...