After what seems like hours and hours on end, Joly creaks the door open and slips out into the hall, shutting the door behind him. Grantiare's grip loosens as he stands up and walks over to Joly,
"Will he be alright?"
Everyone's ears are tuning into their conversation, Marius, Cosette, Couferauc, Combeferre and the rest that survived. Which isn't many. I haven't been bothered to learn their names, I couldn't remember them anyhow with my mind only on Enjolras.
"He should be fine," He nods, "As long as you take care of him for a while," He says to me and I jump up and join them at the door,
"Of course!"
"Shhh. He's finally found a break from the pain and can sleep, hearing your voice is only going to make him want to talk to you,"
"Is he awake?"
Joly lets out a sigh, not wanting to tell me yes, "He is, and he was asking for you before, but I think it's better if he rests,"
"I need to talk to him,"
"I know-"
"I haven't spoken to him since before the fight, and there was a lot of yelling in that conversation, please let me see him,"
He rubs his forehead with his hand and nods, "Fine, go in. Just be careful with him,"
"Of course I will," I mutter, ignoring his comment and closing the door to all of the mens eyes, "Enjolras?"
"Eponine!" He mutters, his voice weak as he tries to sit up.
"Wait a second," I jump to the side of his bed and push him back down softly, "Just stay flat for a while,"
"But I-"
"You can sit up, once you're better," I smile, running my hand through his hair, "Once the pain goes away,"
His blue eyes, stare absently up to the ceiling, "What's wrong?"
"I was shot," He smiles, looking to me, and then back up to the roof,
"Please, I know you got shot, but you don't seem happy, you survived Enjolras. You should be happy,"
"Because I should have died, I remember getting shot, then accepting the fact I was to die. And for some reason I woke up laying here,"
My eyes water up as I take in his voice, "You don't know how you got here?"
"No, it certainly wasn't the government that's for sure," He mutters, "Whoever it was, I wish they had of left me there, I was willing to die for this cause and yet I didn't and so many people did, it's more than just the pain of the wound 'Ponine,"
"I couldn't have left you there," I sniff,
"What do you mean? You weren't there,"
"Yeah, I was,"
"What were you doing! You got of gotten killed Eponine!" He says, the strongest voice he has spoken in, since he left,
"I was there to protect you, incase anything happened to you like it did,"
"But it wouldn't of mattered if I died. I was willing-"
"It wouldn't of mattered? Have you forgot about something? I love you, Enjolras and it would have mattered, a lot. That was a really selfish thing to say. I'm going to go, and come back when you're not upset and grouchy because of the pain," I sniff, standing up and heading towards the door of the dark room,
"Eponine, wait," He calls, "I'm sorry, I didn't know what I was saying, please stay. I need you here,"
I pause, my hand on the doorknob, contemplating whether or not to leave or stay, "I'll stay, but please don't say your death wouldn't have mattered," I mutter, holding back tears and kissing his forehead,
"Sorry,"
"So how are you feeling?"
"Not bad considering the circumstances, just... guilty,"
"Guilty?"
His hand finds it's way to mine and squeezes it tightly, "That I survived and so many died,"
"And how is that your fault?" I ask, knowing exactly how it was his fault but not wanting to say it myself,
"I led them to their deaths, it's no-one else's fault but my own,"
"But they signed up for it, you didn't force them to join you, it was their choice, they knew what they were getting into,"
The arguments aren't filling my head easily, I don't know how I could keep going, telling him he has nothing to worry about and how it wasn't his fault.
"Don't tell me something I want to hear, I know exactly what you're thinking, stop trying to make me feel better," He says in the typical 'Enjolras' tone. The one that everyone backs down to,
"What else am I supposed to do? I'm just trying to make you feel better, I don't know what to do! You're not making it easy," I cry, knowing that the boys outside can probably hear us yelling and Joly will probably come in and drag me out, away from him,
"I don't know what you can do! You can't do anything, you can bring back everyone that died if you want? Have fun trying to do that,"
"Enjolras, the more you think of them, the more depressed you are going to be,"
"I try but everytime I close my eyes, I see them all on the last night. Gavroche and everyone,"
Gavroche. I hadn't cast a thought to him and haven't noticed him, "Where is he?"
"Where do you think Eponine,"
"He isn't,"
"I'm sorry, I thought you knew,"
"I've been so worried about you, I didn't think of anyone else! not even my brother, please tell me he isn't dead,"
"I'm so sorry Eponine,"
Now I couldn't control the tears. No matter how hard I tried, they still spilled over the rims of my eyes, landing on my legs once they've dripped off my cheeks, "He didn't die, he's probably hiding somewhere,"
"He isn't 'Ponine,"
"He's not dead! they wouldn't of killed him! An innocent little boy,"
Enjolras sighs and opens his un-injured arm and I climb into his bed, resting my head on his chest and wrapping my arm across his torso. He isn't dead. Gavroche was smart, he wouldn't have let himself get killed. My sobs are almost loud enough to of drowned out the gun shots. The ones that killed Gavroche.
"It's alright 'Ponine, I'm here, he's okay where he is now,"
"He should be here with me,"
"I'm here with you and I love you and I won't leave you for another revolution don't worry,"
I nod into his chest and close my eyes, letting sleep take over from what horrible news I had just heard.
