Bribing Mr Vain Malik (ZMFF) (Completed)

Chapter 9 ~ Dating Factors Malik

So the date, now that was amazing, I was so scared though, scared I won’t be good enough, scared I won’t dress right, say the right things, act right, I was scared to stuff up, I was scared that he’d move on, have a play and I’ll be left broken hearted, none of this was in a the plan, I knew that I wanted someone in my life to love, to like to enjoy, I didn’t think it would be Malik, who would? I was embarrassed that I did those things I was going to bribe him, I would even use me to bribe him, but its crazy, and its not worth it, there not worth it, I should have realised that, but no, I was stupid and crazy enough to try it.

The date night, comes up quickly, Zayn doesn’t, mention it to the other guys, we try not to be together, I come in to do my work, and we stay apart, and separate, until the date night comes up that is, Zayn arrives at my little place, looking so flashy, I’m almost taken it back to go out with someone so cool, so well dressed. “Don’t be crazy” he says to me “Your beautiful, more beautiful then me” he makes me blush he grabs hold of my hand, and we step out together, we take a taxi to the café, we get seated, and there are a lot of stares, Zayn ignores them I can’t. I can’t help think I’m not good enough to be dating Zayn, I’m not dressed enough, I’m not smart enough, I’m not pretty enough, I’m not worth it, I don’t deserve it.

It shows the feelings in my heart shows through my eyes, and Zayn picks it up. “Love” he whispers to me “your beautiful” he brushes me cheek, with his hand, and tears stream down my eyes, he wipes them away, and kisses me full on the lips. That gets more stares, but I don’t care, I’m lost in the moment, lost in the kiss, lost under the lights, lost under how really lucky I am.

He pulls back, straightens up, gives a slight wink and glances at the menu, despite everything I find myself look at the menu to, trying not to look at other people.

We order, we talk and hold hands over a candle on the table. “Tell me Tilly” he says “what have your past dates been like?” his face curious, “Zayn” I whisper “I’m not up to talking about it” he smiles “Its one of the factors” I say “Factors?” he asks “Yes one of the dating factors Mr Malik, we don’t speak of ex dates or past people” he smiles “sweet, rule, not factor Tilly a rule” we both laugh, I play with my chicken on a plate, still feeling self conscious, Zayn looks up at me, his eyes looking at me, slowly, softly “Its alright” he says gently “don’t worry about them” that cuts it for me, I stand up, and rush out, something made me snap, and I know it something inside me, something about my past dates, something about my life, something about me! Zayn is steps behind me “Tilly” he says “are you okay?” he asks “No” I say and spin around “I’m not good enough Zayn, I shouldn’t be dating you, you shouldn’t have feelings about me, you shouldn’t have forgiven me, you shouldn’t even like me” I say, Zayn looks slightly hurt “You think I’m a user?” he asks “No” I say “I tried to use you, you should hate me” Zayn smiles “I forgave you Tilly, its simple” “Did you love me from first sight, and if so why?” I ask “I did love you from our first sight, as soon as the door opened and I saw you, I knew I liked you, I never knew I’d fall so deeply in love with you, why did I like you well Tilly, I can’t say why, its something about me, something inside me”

“We can’t continue to do this Zayn, your famous, I’m poor,” I say simply “Doesn’t matter to me you, I love you for you, not for your money or anything else” we stand in silence “Lets make a dating rule” Zayn says after a few moments “That you don’t walk out, no matter what, you feel or what other people think” he holds out his hand. He looks at me, and I know I should believe him, I know I should, I know I want to, but something nags at me, I’m not good enough, never will be, never could be real, any love, anything, I can’t trust anything. I take my coat form his arms and I walk away. Tears sting the corners of my eyes, my heart is heavy, but my mind, keeps telling me I’m nothing, I can’t be, and never will be!