ONYIYE THAT GIRL

ONYIYE THAT GIRL
CHAPTER 7

ONYIYE MAZIBUKO

For the first time in the while month she gets to have peace and silence. Gates locked and she doesn't have access to any keys. They have been gone for one day but already she feels her inner peace.
She's absorbing the peace that comes from stillness. It’s temporary but she’s enjoying every bit of it.

Inner peace is possible if she believes, and she does not need to meditate on a mountain top or break the bank for a wellness treat in order to find it.
Focusing her attention on those things she can control….

She's done washing, cleaning as usual - now she needs to focus on her kids, but first she wants to have access to her grant card. Their bedroom door is locked and she doesn't know where they keep the spare keys. She has search every corner of the house but still nothing.
Disappointed as she is she walks out to double check if the gate is closed – locked. As usual it is, sighs!

Something in her told her to withdraw every cent and she did. She sometimes wonder if did government make a mistake…. alot of money put through and it doesn't make sense.
The money is hidden somewhere, in a place no one could ever think of.

"Idla babe," feeding Ndimu is a struggle because he just spits it out, he now crawls around and worstly he now stands by holding on to things. "Babe, come on."
She giggles wiping his mouth. Likely he managed to finish the butternut.
She decided to put him out of the breastmilk and give him formula. Ngimu is now being breast-feed.

Kids asleep, she now she has time to herself.

She looks at herself in the mirror and notices dark patches around her eyes. When was the last time she looked at herself in the mirror.
She's tired an done with crying. She has been crying ever since she was presented to this world.
Sighs! That is what she has been doing a lot lately.
She looks at her saggy tiny boobs - wrinkled stomach, her tiny hips moving downwards. Her body is no longer attached to her - it's like it's being pealed off and now everything is just disgusting.
She wares her long dress, big Jersey and a doek. That's how she hides herself from underneath. It's the shame that comes with it.

She sits on the hard old bed with springs popping out. She scrolls through her contact list and looks at her mother's number.

Despite the fact that she grew up from an abusive home and environment - she prays and wishes that someday her and her mother will have a daughter and mother relationship. She wants her sister to be over protective like every other big sister who does for their siblings.
She decides to call her friend.
"Nyi," she's down and that is so unlike her.
"Are you okay?"
Lindiwe sniffs over the line. "I'm not good. I made the horrible mistake ever. I can't believe how stupid I am."
"Sthuphethu, what did you do? Do not tell me that you slept with someone!"
Lindiwe burst into tears not knowing how to respond. "It was a mistake!"
"Does Smanga know?"
"How do I tell him? Where do I even begin?"
"Start by telling your inner self this is what you want to do. What really happened? Can you start by the beginning."

Lindiwe takes a deep breath, "The girl I'm sharing the room with is dating this guy. She was in the bathroom and I was talking to Smanga over the phone showing him my books. I concluded the call with Smanga and this guy introduced himself as Mpilwenhle Myeza. The next thing he is kissing me and I got tempted. To cut the story short we have been this for a while and there was a baby in the process and I ended up having an abortion."
Onyiye gasps in shock. "No! Do you want me to slap you?" Onyiye sighs, "you did what you did out of inkanuko. But I won't judge you. I want you to focus on your books and forget about everything. After everything I still love you and that won't change. You did a decision that you thought was the best and I support you. Just, please make me proud."
"Thank you. I feel a bit lighter talking to you. Now I have to tell Smanga because the guilt is eating me up." She says. "I didn't buy you this airtime to call me. I bought for you to by data slmina mdini!"
Onyiye giggles, "yoh I'm sorry."
"It's okay I'll just but you data next time not airtime. How are my babies?"
Onyiye told Lindiwe how she found Ngimu and how she almost threw him away.
"These kids sleep like there's no tomorrow. Once you feed them they fall into sleep."
"You should come up with a plan of leaving that house before it's too late. What that grandpa is doing to you is totally sick!"
"I try to stay strong for my kids Lee, each day comes with its own and I'm leaving with that pain. The fact I love my kids through all obstacles I'm good."
"I have to prepare for the test tomorrow."
"Let me not keep you, I'm going crazy myself."