ONYIYE THAT GIRL

ONYIYE THAT GIRL
CHAPTER 18

LINDIWE NGOBESE

She's in the library minding her own business and her own day.
She suddenly then feels off.
This is strange it has never happened before expect that it has been happening a lot lately.
Maybe it is a figment of her imagination.
It is probably about her overwhelming physical presence and air of confidence.
But no, something is definitely off.
Better look around to see if there is danger… her inner self says.
Strange sensation, surprise, and then a sense of apprehension. 
She clears her throat and tilts her head finding a man glaring at her without blinking. She quickly focuses back to her books with her heart drumming. It's those days again - those days of her becoming a topic again. 
Imagine the hurt of people gossiping about you live. 
The whispers are getting louder and louder. She looks around the library - groups of students….
She cannot focus, she shouldn't have come here, now she will be a laughing stock again. Maybe if she had died she would have been fine. 
She closes her books shoving them roughly in her bag. A paper slips down and floats off the table without her noticing. She walks out of the library with her face down and a few tears dropping out.
When will this issue die down? She has endured enough and it hurts to a point of no return.
From a distance she spots Mpilo with a new girl. Her heart stops beating for a second. She is trying to be exordial but also trying to not be compelled.
It’s been a while since she last thought about her ex. She took time to grieve, heal, and move forward. And by the look of things he has even started dating someone who’s better than her. They walk right past her holding hands and the boy doesn’t dare to look her direction.
She swallows hard crossing the road looking the other way almost being knocked bus car.
"Excuse me," says an unfamiliar voice. She turns around and finds the man that was staring at her at the library.
"Yes," she steps on the pavement and waits for him.
"Hai, you dropped this back there." He hands her a piece of paper.
"Thanks. Must have dropped it." She says taking the paper and putting it in her bag.
"Wanna grab lunch? I'm bored."
Lindiwe looks at him with her eyebrows furrowed. "What makes you think I can trust you?" 
"It's just a harmless date I mean lunch. Unless if you have important things to do."
He says looking at her. She sighs hoping that she's not making the worst decision of her life.
"Okay, one hour is all I can spare." She tells him.
They are at the eatery having fried chips and burgers. 
"I have been watching you at school for a while now and you have never paid any attention to me. I'm Sizwe by the way." 
"Why watch me?" She sips on her cold drink. Being here is not so bad after all. She's just letting loose and forgetting about everything and everyone at the moment.
"I was afraid to approach you so today I decided to man up and have some balls. I just admire you charisma and strength." 
"What do you mean?" She asks. 
"After all you have been through you still stand tall and focus on what you want. You didn't let all those negativey get to you and for that I admire you alot." 
"You have no idea. I've been thinking about committing suicide alot. Its so hard to talk when I want to kill yourself. That's above and beyond everything else, and it's not a mental complaint-it's a physical thing, like it's physically hard to open my mouth and make the words come out. They don't come out smooth and in conjunction with my brain the way normal people's words do; they come out in chunks as if from a crushed-ice dispenser; I stumble on them as they gather behind my lower lip. So I just keep quiet. That is why Sometimes I think that life doesn't matter, I don't care anymore about life."
"You should care. Your life is important. You are much more important than you think. You can make a good impact on many people’s life. Maybe you are the most important person in the world. You may never know. Be proud, be stubborn, and never give up. Sometimes we need to stay down a while before we find a reason good enough to get back up.. whatever it may be I hope you find your will again. All I'm saying you will heal from this." He adds putting a little smile on her face.
"Can I use the bathroom?" She's already up.
"You don't have to ask twice."
Everywhere she goes it's just stare after stare and that depresses her more. She lies straight to her friend and tells her that she is fine but deep inside she is emotionally not okay - maybe death is the way out of this phase she is going through.
She looks at herself in the mirror and sighs letting a few tears fall. "I am stronger than this."  She washes her face and wipes it with the paper towel and steps out of the toilets.
She finds Sizwe glued on his phone. He smiles putting his phone back in his pocket. "I was about to send a search party there." He leans back gulping down the last juice that was remaining.
"I'm back, I just need time to myself."
They continue to eat in silence just stealing a few glances at each other.
"Thank you, I really had a great time. You seriously don't know how good you made my day." She not lying.
She has been hiding from the society - locking herself up and missing classes.
"I'm glad you did. Can you do me a favour." They are walking around the park listening to the busy cars around town. 
"Yes," they both stop. She plays with the bag straps….
"Be your old self back and know what you came for. Don't let this situation yepandemic bring you down. Accelerate towards your goals by taking decisive action. Be that courageous women knows what they are striving toward and do not allow distractions to slow you down. Do you promise me?"
"Yes, I promise that the situation yepandemic will not bring me down. I refuse to believe that."
They both laugh…..
"I should get going,"
"Yea let my not keep you waiting. Can I take you home?" He offers, she looks at his genuine face. She briefly smiles.
"Sure, taxis are this way."
"I stole my mother's car." She gasps.
"So, your a thief?" She asks looking at his innocent face. He opens the door for her and helps her settle in. He closes it and goes to the driver's side to hopes in.
"I am, if there is necessary." A honest respond!
"I don't believe this. I don't want to go to jail, I'm still young!"
"Yea right but your butt is inside sitting comfortably in a thieves car."
They both laugh and he drives off.
"Welcome to my humble space." There's nothing much just a double bed, two plate stove on the floor with two pots and her luggage.
"It's so cold." He sits on the bed.
"I struggle at night because of coldness, I don’t have much blankets." She also sits on the bed.
They fall into silence….
"I should get going before my mother comes back." He stands up.
"Thank you again for the time and the things you did for me today. I appreciate it."
"You welcome. I'm glad you will sleep better today. Can I have your number? I don't mean to be pushy or anything. I just…."
"Yea sure why not?" She takes his phone and punches her numbers in and hands him his phone back. "I need someone who will take me around Durban and make me see places I've never seen before." She's smiling something he is adoring.
"I'm game, tell you what. This upcoming weekend how about we go clubbing?"
She doesn't like it.
"I don't think it will be a good idea, I've never been into a club. I don't drink."
"Don't be silly, they do sell water bottles, and non-alcoholic wine."
"If that's the case then count me in!" She's waving her hands in the air excitedly.
"Can I get a hug before I leave?"
She stands up smiling. She wraps her hands around his shoulders and he softly sneaks his hands around her waist.
A romantic hug lasts longer than a platonic hug.
She knows the difference.
They gently clutch a little tighter.... She takes a deep breath and exhale loudly; relaxing into the hug and enjoy it. She closes her eyes and feels the moment.
She's tired of standing on her toes - this man is too tall!
She unwraps her arms around him and steps back but he pulls her gently back towards him.
"Can this last forever?" His voice his raspy enough for her to make her giggle. He clears his throat and becomes normal again.
"What do you mean last for ever?" She has her finger drawing circles around his chest with them still standing.
"Me and you be one. I've always wanted you but has been afraid to approach you. The first time I met you was the day I broke your slippers by stepping on them by mistake. You looked at me with those scary cute eyes and I knew right then that I like you. You clicked your tounge and walked away without saying a thing. Ever since then I tried every trick possible to get your attention but your never even noticed me once. But today I'm here with you and I'm very much happy that you finally noticed me."
"You still owe me my slippers buti."
"I will pay them. In-fact I will buy you better ones. What size do you wear?"
"Size 5 sir."
"The day I will fuck you will stop calling me sir, Buti."
They laugh. A call come through on Sizwe's phone and he curses picking up.
"Mah, I went to the library.... I'm sorry, I'm coming back home." He drops the phone and sighs. "I'm inviting you to my funeral. I'm going to be funeralled by this woman." He steals a kiss from her mouth and dashes out leaving her to touching her lips in disbelief....