ONYIYE THAT GIRL

ONYIYE THAT GIRL
CHAPTER 50

ONYIYE MAZIBUKO

Looking at the woman who gave birth to her looking all helpless on this hospital bed breaks her heart into a million pieces. Yes, she wished karma could visit her at times but now seeing her breaks her even more.
What does she say? Where does she even begin? This feels so unreal. This woman was never sick. She looks at Sisipho tongue tied.
“I don’t know what to say.”
She mutters softly.
“I will step out. Just say what is in your heart.” She taps on her shoulder and walks out.
She takes a deep breath and prepares the speech within her. She did not rehearse anything for this moment. What does she say? She will see where her tongue takes her. But what she knows is forgiveness and anger don't combine nicely.
“I am choosing to forgive you. I accept what happened, and I am ready to let go of my resentment. I don't want to be angry anymore. I release the past and its power over me. I may not know how yet, but I am willing to let this pain go. I am willing to release you from my own hurt.’
‘Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you. Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting or excusing the harm done to you or making up with the person who caused the harm. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life.’ Baby daddy’s wise words of encouragement.
Ntombi’s eyes slowly open, through her aching, blurry vision she manages to spot a dark figure in front of her eyes. The machines in her mouth make it hard for her to utter anything. Her hand is heaving making it hard for her to even lift her finger. Tears whale out one after the another. Is this truly her daughter? Did she really say she was forgiving her?
Onyiye runs out to go call for Sisipho who was seated on the benches eating her chicken feet. Looks like she has found her new obsession.
She looks puzzled, looking at her mother's eyes wide open. “The last time I saw her with her eyes opened was three months ago.” Her mouthful with chicken feet bones.
And now it registers, they need to call for the doctor!
Sisipho runs out to go look for one but luckily, she bumps into him right at the corridors.
“My mother is awake…”
She feels relieved that she finally coughed out what is on chest.
‘Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting or excusing the harm done to her or making up with the person who caused the harm. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life’.  She can’t let of Sthembiso’s words out of her tiny head.

“How do you feel?” Sthembiso asks, while driving out of the hospital.
“I don’t know. It makes me feel stronger and have a positive outcome. I am just happy that I was able to have this moment and finally let out what was in me.” Honestly it is refreshing for her. You know when a huge milestone has been lifted off your shoulders. That is how she exactly feels
“It is not about forgetting, as the adage would have us believe, but about letting go, about choosing positive emotions over negative ones.”
She nods her head smiling. Sisipho is sitting in the back seat while Ndimu is occupying the front seat with his tantrums.
“When did you get pregnant?” She has been looking at her in shock all day.
“Like the last time I had this fella her.” She brushes her son's hair.
She looks at Sisipho who had her eyes all out. She laughs a bit. No way in hell will she ever share how her babies came into this world. This will be her secret and she is ready to take it to the grave with her unless the ancestors say otherwise.
“Wow,” she seems shocked.
“I want the biggest family one could ever find.”
“How many babies?”
“Seven, is what I want.”
She always wanted to have a lot kids when growing up.
She doesn’t care about the big houses and the fancy lifestyle. What would matter is that there is love in it. No one understands the love of her having a big family. Even her friend Lindiwe does not understand her choices at times. Speaking about her friend Lindiwe. That one has been giving her the cold shoulder. Avoiding her at all cost. She doesn’t pick up her calls any longer, it's like she is shutting everyone close to her out. She avoids outings and seeing her. She is hurt and she doesn’t want to lie. Lindiwe knew all of her struggles and she was there for her through thick an thin. Now that she is the one facing challenges, she has these walls around her. Walls that will take the entire life too break down. She will have to pass by her house and talk to her mother about this. She cannot lose her friend and sister.
“Onyiye! I've been calling.”
“Ow, sorry. You were saying.”
“I was saying there is no food in the house. We should buy something to eat for the time being."
She agrees - so they pass by the shops to by a few items and drove back home.