stranger, soulmate, lover.✔️

a stranger

  I stood and let the water run over me, feeling my body weaken in its natural state. We had a track meet yesterday and workouts have been beating my ass, I threw my hair back to let the water have better access to my face.

  Rubbing my fingers through the shampoo and letting it sit for a while before washing it out. This was my favorite moment too, a time where I could successfully feel like I was alone without reparations or guilt, nothing holding me back.

  I didn't run outside tonight, I knew that boy would be there riding on his skateboard. I still stared through my windowsill though. I watched him hit tricks like ollies and kickflips. Some nights he'd even put on rollerblades and practiced his hockey skills, he did in fact join the team too.

  I could hear people saying that he's pretty skilled for a new kid, that his face is pretty and his personality is polite. I looked away from the area once I heard my mother's steps, I grabbed a book from my shelf and pretended to read through it before she could see me through the doorway.

  "Hey." She says as though she's somewhat exhausted. I waved back, having been sitting in a crisscross motion facing towards her. I knew exactly how this conversation would go, you know the small talks, the kind that let you know that you and your parent are completely detached from one another.

  The kind that's meant to remind you that you're not forgotten but leaves you wondering why'd they ever forget in the first place. Like talking to a stranger with one string of hope, tearing and tearing.

  Something for them to say they tried.

  "How's school been?" She only stood there leaning on the door with her arms crossed. Her brown ends curled over her head. "Good." My voice was beginning to hurt more and more throughout the days, I didn't want to talk and I felt no need to at that moment.

  "You know I love you." Reassurance, it's all she's ever wanted, it's all I've ever needed. I nodded laying the book down. "Love you too," I mumbled quietly. She sighs before fixing herself from the door and walking towards me. "I have to work a double shift tonight. I went and got you guys a pizza though." She said patting my head and heading back. "Don't stay up too late, make sure to give Hamlet his gummy's for tonight too."

  I didn't say anything else, I just watched her walk away. And once she did I released the breath I always held in around her. I got Hamlet ready for bed like I always did, I got myself ready too. And instead of looking to see if the boy continued to have practices in the street in front of my house, I read.

  And before I could fall asleep I heard knocking on my window. I didn't get up, I figured it was only a bird or something. That is until it continued. I stood on my feet and aching legs and walked towards the area. That boy was there like he'd always been, late at night finding freedom because he's a boy.

  Girls couldn't go outside and do things like that, they'd be too afraid of what could grab them in the night when they're not paying enough attention, even as a boy I've grown to not only acknowledge the double standards of all genders but to equate them into my head as equal, equal is what they should be. Boys did this to women, that's why they're afraid, I know.

  He swings his hands in motion for me to come down, to come outside. I let out a soft groan before shaking my head, refusing to do so. He pulled out Capri suns and a bag full of candy and unhealthy snacks. I couldn't help but laugh at his knowing grin. I closed my curtain and pulled a hoodie over my pajama set.

  Slipping on a pair of my house shoes beside my running shoes and headed down the stairs slowly and quietly. I didn't want to wake my brother before I could even make it out. Once I got to the front door I was sure to have opened and closed it slowly to prevent too many sounds.

  There he was, the boy with the dark and curly hair. He had on a team sweater that I presume would be his old school's logo and mascot. It was red and it had a tiger on it.

  "Hey."

  "Hi."