make me stay.

thirtyseven

♜

on the other side of the door, two guards await. they are to escort me safely throughout the castle until we make it to the staircase where i make my entrance to the guests downstairs. i nod towards them, letting them grip both my arms as they pull me in the opposite way of the stairs. i frown, but i have been here long enough to know that disagreeing with their route will get me nowhere at all.
they handle me carefully, however, very focused on not ripping up the sleeves of my dress in their grip or the bottom of the skirt in their hurry down the halls.

i have never seen the castle more alive than tonight. servants run up and down the halls, and i am edged closer and closer to the wall every time one squishes themselves by the wide guards. i hear voices buzzing beneath me through the floorboards and my stomach turns as i realise just how many guests have been invited to this nightmare of a tradition.

"the staircase is the opposite way," i speak calmly, trying to meet one of their glances but they ignore me fully. we continue down the hall and turn to the left when two options are presented. they slow down before approaching the last doors down a dead end.

one of the guards let me go before finding a card which he pulls out from his pocket. i study the card in his hand as he pauses. the guards seem to mind-link a short conversation which i block out. their voices are dark and angry like the rest of their team. i don't like their hands on me, their voices in my head even worse. luckily, north had spent a bit time on leaning me how to block out lower ranks, which had been a huge help with all the chatter from the guards and especially servants. these last few days, with the entire castle rushing around to prepare for the festivals, my head would have popped clean off my neck if i hadn't been able to block it all out.

the card, however, is far more interesting than any conversation they have. it has streaks of purple across it, which all move almost resembling lighting. it looks identical to the force i had used on the front doors when trying to escape, that power than had come from without.

the door we stop in front of has no handle and on the spot where the it is missing, he swipes the card over the missing knob. suddenly, a metal doorknob appears, glowing red.
the guard does not hesitate and twists the boiling metal with his black glove, opening the door. i frown, but suddenly it all makes sense. a locked door was simply just one where the knob had been removed. the purple power which had been imprinted on the card must have been mercer's. well, mostly north's.

he had taught me a bit about the abilities i possessed as queen, but he would hold off with any more teaching until further. any abilities besides the ones i had already shown would stay hidden until i was actually crowned, which wouldn't be for a while. i had kept my mouth shut when we had discussed it, realising that he had no idea about how strongly i felt it. apparently, it was supposed to stay subtle until i was officially crowned, which wasn't just exactly the case with me. i feared what that could mean, but i wanted to worry alone and not drag him into it all.

the door swung open as the guard gave it a hard push, and the girl on the other side instantly screamed.

"grey!" lily screamed my name, both excitedly and relieved. she ran directly into my arms, or at least attempted to. she was stopped instantly by both guards, each using a single arm to hold her back.

"let her be," i ordered, and despite the slight hesitation in their movement, they obeyed with a slight dissatisfied nod. i wrapped my arms around her, letting out a shaky breath. my god, this girl had my heart.
i hadn't even realised just how much i had missed her until she was right in front of me. in a way, lily was my actual soulmate.
our friendship was purely platonic but she was my person. i knew just how much she hated me for letting myself continuously hurt over mercer, but she had never left my side regardless. i needed her more than i would give her credit for, but our friendship just worked that way. she understood that i was way darker and complicated that i would ever let her see, and she supported the traits that i would show her.

lily was a easy-going type of person. always happy, anyways full of colour. she was two years younger than me as well, which felt like it brought us worlds apart at times. she never took life especially serious, and had had more flings than i could count. she enjoyed the short company, the excitement and the stories she could tell me afterwards. we lived opposite lives but it only made our connection stronger, in a weird way.

"my god, how are you?" she exclaimed, pulling us apart to look at me. she studied my face, my red cheeks and light expression. i smiled back at her.

"better now," i mumble, pulling us close again. "what are you doing here?" i then ask, when i realise where we are currently.

"i was wondering the same thing, actually," she chuckles. "my parents received a letter from the castle and later in the day, a carriage came to take me away." she shrugs simply.
"and you just went with them?" i frown, deeply. she sure was easy-going but also a danger to herself apparently.
"yes! have you seen the royal guards? they would have crushed me if i had objected!" she explains, almost whining.

with my arms on her both her shoulders, i push her even further away. my eyes run over her frame as i take in her outfit. "you're wearing a dress," i comment, stunned. what was happening?"

"yes, a maid brought it here while i waited. she even helped me get into the awful thing,"

i cock my head to the side. her dress was a pale blue, running down to the bottom of her feet. it was lose on the bottom but still curved out into a ball gown.

my mouth falls the slightest bit open as thoughts run in and out of my mind. "something is happening," i mumble to myself, but lily picks up on it quickly.

"what is?"

"i don't know," i speak slowly. "but nothing good, i suppose since you are here,"

and then, it hits her. lily knows me in and out. i would categorise myself as a fairly strong person, at least mentally. i have dealt with issues such as spiral my entire life, and the grey that had lastly, swallowed me whole when mercer had left me. so, she also knew that i didn't specifically need her as support when things got hard, but if she didn't push herself onto me and into my business, i would shut down. i would close myself off and just lean into the grey. it was my survival mechanism when i got overwhelmed, but it was quite a horrible one.

"i'm here," she repeats. "what is happening tonight?"

"the welcoming ball for the queen," i say, meeting her eyes.
"oh, crap cakes," lily brings a hand up in front of her mouth before taking my hand. "i am so sorry, grey," she mumbles into my hair, as she wraps around me in an embrace. "before belle left, he told me about mercer. about the title and how wes had lost it,"

oh. she doesn't know. "no, no," i begun, pulling us apart with much difficulty. " it's me," i shrug, laughing awkwardly.

lily's eyes round to the point that i fear for the moment they roll out of their sockets. her mouth falls open, and she breathes in deeply. "you are lying," she says, shaking her head.

i shake my head slowly, truly having no words. and then, she starts laughing. it comes in waves, rolling off of her as she tries to cover her mouth once again.

"how perfect," she finally speaks. "the ultimate revenge, in a way," her eyes sparkle with tears before her face changes. "and we're happy about that, right?"

"yes, don't worry." i shake my head, not wanting her to worry. "he has changed, but maturity suits us well." i tell her. it would need a longer conversation for us to go through everything that she had missed in the last months since we had been separated.

"so, tonight is good?" lily asks. i nod, and she continues: "so, why would i need to be here?"

i pause momentarily, chewing on her question. something is off. if north had brought her here just to share this evening with me, he probably would have waited until the actual bonding ceremony. i mean, we had already underwent it, but we would still need to do it once more, just for the formality of the tradition. i could have been overthinking all of this. i was training to fit into the role as queen and support from my best friend did sound a bit, well, very much needed.

i shrugged. "perhaps, just for the support,"