make me stay.

thirtyeight

♜

"you're okay," lily smiled as she wrapped her arm around my own at the top of the staircase. it twirled directly down to the main floor which was currently filled with guests. the air was thick and warm, the voices loud and in the double digits. perhaps even third, but i refused to look around long enough to get an idea of how many eyes would be on me in just a minute.
my cheeks were burning as i felt the vomit moving up further. "yeah," i nodded, agreeing with lily.

whenever was one of us were overwhelmed we had made a pact. we would remind the other that they were okay, to remind each other that whatever was thrown at us, we would always come out on the other side okay.

so, i was okay.

don't stumble over your own feet, please. north's voice sounded in my head as i fanned my face with my hands. i bit down on my lip, trying to ignore him as i focused on lily. i had no idea where he was located in the castle, but i assumed somewhere at the bottom of the stairs.
behind me both coast, harry and nathaniel were placed. they would walk behind me. currently, we were just simply awaiting for their signal that allowed me to make my entrance.

the dress was digging into my sides, which was nothing new but the heels i had been given definitely were. i was taller than average at 5'8, which narrowed my experience in heels down to a solid zero. my steps were wobbly, and coast had even had to carry me down the back entrance stairs as we made our way down here. everything was leading to disaster, and it couldn't.

and then, suddenly, the signal was given. nathaniel nodded towards me as his voice boomed in my mind.

entrance.

i swallowed hard, as my shaky hands tightened around lily's arms. i glanced down towards my feet, cursing at them hoping that it would scare them enough to keep up their act until we were safely a floor lower than currently.

"ladies and gentlemen, higher mountain citizens, the castle and royals are very pleased to present to you, the next generation queen of the mountain!" a presenter had been raised on a platform as he yelled across the ball rooms which were all filled with guests. his voice was loud, and his words clear. my heart sped up it's pace as i shifted my weight onto my right foot.

you're okay.

we took the first step. my heel was heard loudly on the stairs as the marble resisted my weight. i smiled widely, supporting myself on lily. my dress was even long enough to hide both my feet, so the footwear were simply just idiotic. i could have gone barefoot and it would not have made any difference.

another step. more and more eyes came upon me as guests began realising that the violets in the corner by the front doors had quieted down as well as the conversations amongst them all.

the steps began going faster as i felt more comfortable in the heels, and by the end, i didn't have to glance down every second step to ensure i was on the correct one.

lily squeezed my arm in victory when we finally hit solid ground after the last step. it was subtle and perfect. i had smiled, waved when clapping had broken out and i hadn't even been close to stumbling.

north was directly in front of me when i finished my entrance. he was smiling from ear to ear as he gestured towards lily, wanting to take over. she nodded slowly, sending me a glare to ask if i was okay with it. i nodded and she let me go slowly until he had his grip on me. i leaned against him as he braided our fingers together.

how did it go? i asked.

"awful," north shook his head in disappointment, closing his eyes as well to really sell his lie. "truly a horrible experience,"

oh, shut it! i gave his shoulder a punch and he laughed. not funny.

i apologise. it was perfect, mars.

i smile. "thank you,"

"north," nathaniel suddenly interrupts, as he places a hand on his brother's shoulder.

it takes me a moment to understand that there won't be any more words exchanged. i stand there watching their expression change before understanding what is happening. i close my eyes, focusing hard until i hear their voices.

....which is a risk that shouldn't be taken.

what do you suggest? ending the ball and creating panic when there is no actual threat yet?

my eyes widen.

i suggest being considerate of our guests, and the mess you have created, north.

north's voice is clearly agitated as he answers: i have no choice in the matter, little brother. her darkness pulls at me even, draws at my energy. i can portray her as a royal all i want, it only sits in her blood. her mind would never be able to follow along. so, the ball continues.

my heart twists hurtfully, as i hear more than i wish to.

why are you acting to careless? she has already been showed off!

to the highest of my society only. the wedding ceremony and crowning would result in drawings of her being published around the entirety of the mountain.

why were they having this conversation here? i definitely needed a few pieces of the puzzle to understand their argument but i understood to understand that this could wait to later.

a crown comes with heavy responsibility and sacrifices, nathaniel. i...

no. no more excuses, brother. you love her, i believe that you do, but the fact that you can fit the role of a king and not the role of a lover is ridiculous. just because the crown doesn't fit on her head, doesn't mean she can't make you happy. nathaniel interrupted his brother, defending me on every point. i felt a warm mess spread throughout my body as i listened to his words. nathaniel and i hadn't exchanged many words during my time here but here he was, crossing his brother and king even, to protect me.

i need her to rule the kingdom by my side, not make me happy. north replied, coldly.

then it is time for you to let her be happy.