make me stay.

fortyone

♜

"we are joined here today to bear witness to the bonding ceremony and holy matrimony of..."

i hadn't gone to bed when bexley had come to wake me up in the morning. she had knocked on my door lightly before opening it. she peaked her head inside, and as soon, as she saw me, sitting in my window frame, tears had instantly streamed down her cheeks. in her hands were a tray of breakfast and hanging on one of her arms, my dress for later. i had comforted her, as she continued to ask me questions i couldn't answer. 

"have you come here to enter into marriage without coercion, freely and wholeheartedly?" 

lily had been escorted into my room by a guard shortly after i had eaten. it was clear that she had entered the room expecting to comfort me but i had simply smiled at her, asking her if she was okay after last nights events. she didn't look to have gotten much sleep either. she wasn't, and it clear to see. she was frustrated with everything that had happened the 24 hours she had spend here, and i understood. she had only seen north as the boy he had been all those years ago. the one who hadn't been able to take care of me, the one who had run away. she hadn't seen him as i had. 

"are you prepared, as you follow the path of marriage, to love and honor each other for as long as you both shall live?"  

he had focused everything on me in the last few months to build our relationship from the ground up. he even allowed wesley to rejoin his royal army without much discussion before hand. it made my heart happy to have most of my best-friends around me at all times up here, and he had understood. 

"are you prepared to accept children lovingly from the mountain and to bring them up according to the law of the mountain and its roots?"

i had never felt as complete as he made me. he was mine, and i was his. the castle was, and would always be, far away from home, but the cold walls and confusing hallways it contained did begin to feel more familiar as time passed. 

 "since it is your intention to enter into the covenant of holy matrimony, join your right hands, and declare your consent before the mountain and it's roots."

after our ceremony in the woods, it was still a well-kept secret just between us. we both knew that i needed longer to get better mentally, to improve myself and quiet my demons before i could take an official role of the queen. north was willing to give me that time, but that did not change the fact that he couldn't. i just hadn't understood that in time before the castle started to crumble before my eyes. 

before her. the colourful me. 

"do you take king north to be your husband? do you promise to be faithful to him in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love him and to honor him all the days of your life?" 

"i do," the two words sounded clearly, reaching down to the eleventh row of chairs, where i sat. lily gave my hand, which she had been holding since the ceremony started, a light squeeze. 

"you're okay," she whispered. 

i swallowed a cry before it escaped my lips, my eyes drowning in water. as if were my chest on fire, i dug my nails into the skin only being protected by a thin blouse, trying to soothe the pain. i did, however, know that i had no chance in soothing emotional pain. 

"...do you promise to be faithful to her in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love her and to honor her all the days of your life?" the priest looked to his king, awaiting his answer. 

suddenly, amongst a crowd of many, his eyes met mine. as he stood there at the altar, wearing a much nicer outfit than what he had been at our bonding ceremony, he found me instantly. then again, our ceremony had been spontaneous, meant to be. this ceremony was planned out, needed to be. 

"i do,"  he spoke up, correcting his posture, feeling the pressure of every pair of eyes watching him. 

so, how do we know that what we feel is love?

we don't. we don't understand why that one single person looks different to us than others. we don't know why their touch feels different, why their words sound better. what we do know is that when love is real it swallows you, completely and utterly. it tears you apart, breaks you to the point of being unrecognisable. 

love makes you a fool. 

so, if you sit back, broken in every bone, in every muscle in every piece of your heart, and you still love them, then you know; you are in love. and not the sappy movie love. the kind that makes you twist and turn with heartache and pain, as if they weren't the same thing. 

pure pain, pure love. 

"then i pronouce you, lady maeve maria solace and king mercer north wilson, husband and wife, king and queen of the mountain!" a cheered spread across the crowd, as everyone rose from their seats, hiding the king behind all their backs. 

i'll love you until tomorrow, he whispered in my mind quietly, as i felt the ground beneath my chair and feet, slightly move.