make me stay.

twentyfive

♜

"i broke your heart, didn't i?" mercer crosses his arms over his chest, almost seeming to protect himself, as he processes his own words with a simple nod.

more than you'll ever understand, i whispered in my head. 

i glance up shortly, meeting his eyes for a moment before pulling away. again.

"why didn't you give up?" his voice is barely a whisper, as he clears his throat, the king of the north suddenly gone. who stands back is mercer wilson, a boy i hadn't seen for years at this point. "if i really hurt you that bad, why do you not hate me?"

"because everyone will hurt you eventually. the hardest thing would be to find the ones worth hurting for."

"and i'm worth hurting for?"

"am i?" 

coast sits opposite of me, watching my every move closely. he chews his food slowly, as if fearing him looking away for a second to cut out another piece of food would give me enough time to set the entire table on fire. 

the memory replays in my mind like it has no end; the conversation mercer and i had had before i fell asleep in his arms.

it had been the night where he had slept in my room, the last time i had actually spoken to him up until now. i hadn't even gotten a single word to him after i saw their fight. he had ushered me off towards aeston before i had the chance to kill him. the fight was clearly not fair in any way. there wasn't even a doubt in my mind about whether or not wes had chosen to initiate the fight, but mercer, - north should have stopped him instantly. 

the travel to aeston could not have been more than an hour or two, but i still felt worlds away. 

the memory, the faints sounds of his words spoken felt like a rock in my stomach that was pushing down every bite i had managed to force down so far. i was not hungry, not even interested in the conversation being carried over the dinner. 

"i believe, the point where the situation was pulled out of my hands were when the lower mountains began to forget to ask for what they took." mayor reyes has spoken ninety-nine out of a hundred words that has been said since sitting down to eat. coast is distracted, trying to prevent me from messing up. "the new comers began breaking into lofts, barns, wherever they could spend the night. people woke up with strangers sleeping on their couches, in their guest bedroom, even in their own bedroom."

i glance upwards towards coast, meeting his eyes. they flicker a lighter colour than normal, a pale silver for the shortest moment i've ever seen, before going back to their normal colour. he instantly drops his gaze down to his plate, shaking his head as if attempting to shake off a bug. 

"i sent out guards to remove the intruders, but it only made everything worse. riots began spreading. markets were robbed, decorations, windows, stands, lampposts, everything in sight was broken, ruined, even burned. they did not feel welcome here, and they weren't."

i frown, chewing a piece of chicken i've just pulled off of my fork with my teeth. coast had been acting strange this entire trip, but now, he seemed to be watching me. almost like did he have to be a foot from me at all times, scared i would mess up on my own. 

"the storms have laid off, and they should all be gone by now, but they refuse to leave, all of them. they want that last lost day. they want to meet their king, they want what they travelled days to experience, and in some ways, i get it."