Golden || H.S. ||

Chapter 21

     Since I was a little girl, television and books have built up this massive expectation of what physical affection is like between two people, from the first touch of their hands to the ultimate display of their vulnerability - sex. It's been engraved in my mind that when you care for someone and they care for you in return, that even the most diminutive interactions have the ability to produce fireworks.

That ended up being something I had spent years longing for; as soon as I was old enough to understand it, it was all I wanted for my future. One with someone who could write fucking sonnets or something because of how deeply they felt for me, and how intensely my touch affected them.

But when John tore my world apart and clouded my brain with his tainted affection, if you could even call it that, all desire I had for "true love" or whatever vanished. There was no way it could exist if the way he touched me was the way it actually was. Society had lied to me, so I shut that part of my mind off to protect it. I chose to become numb, so that whatever he did to me wouldn't hurt as much, both emotionally and physically. I couldn't miss what I couldn't remember, or what I never even really had to begin with.

Then... I met Harry. The complete opposite of John. He's someone who can ignite me with only his eyes, let alone his touch. Everything we've been through just in the last 12 days has brought us so close... closer than I've ever been with anyone. Our interactions have never been forced or exaggerated, it's all been so natural. We've never been truly hesitant of the other person either; any hesitation has come from within ourselves and our own insecurities. Our own demons. But I know that he likes me for me, and it's honestly a revelation that it's even possible for him to. He makes me feel smart, he makes me feel beautiful, he makes me feel valued, he makes me feel seen.

And he makes me feel so fucking sexy.

So now that we're in my room and he's standing up with his hands gripping my ass while simultaneously sucking the base of my neck near my shoulder, all I can think about is how good he is for me. I'm tilting my head to the side while my legs are wrapped around his waist, feeling incredibly impatient. I can't wait for him to rewrite this final step of intimacy for me. Maybe eventually he can erase John from my memory altogether.

A girl can dream.

Desperate to be connected with him again, I lean my head back up and capture his mouth with mine as my hands find themselves on his shoulders. As his own hands move up from my ass to my waist, I unravel my legs from around him and stand on the carpeted floor in my bare feet. Without breaking our kiss, we both let the other one go and start lifting up our own shirts, then separate our mouths just long enough to get the shirts over our heads. He's a little faster than I am because I have to take my bracelets off first, so by the time my shirt is halfway over my face, he's already digging his fingers into my hips through my skirt and forcing his tongue between my lips. I can't help but to moan into his mouth, quickly becoming obsessed with his possession over me.

We are both fumbling to get out of the rest of our clothes because neither one wants to stay away from the other long enough to do so, but eventually we get there and make our way to the side of my bed in the process. He hooks his thumbs into both my skirt and my panties in one, then pushes them both down my legs at the same time. While he slides his hands back up my thighs I lean my hips closer to him, wanting to feel his body against mine. It takes him half a second to realize what I'm after, so he keeps one hand on the back of my upper thigh and places his other on the small of my back, spreading his fingers as far as they will go so that his ring and pinky fingers lay against the top of my ass. He then pulls my hips to his, smiling down at me before leaning back down to my mouth and rubbing his erection against my lower stomach through his pants. I whisper his name against his lips from this small bit of pleasure I feel, and delight in the way it makes his kiss more intense.