Golden || H.S. ||

Chapter 35

Wednesday, October 6th

     Sitting on my couch while I wait for Gia to come back inside after she finishes her phone call with Nate, I'm keeping my head against the back cushion as I try to will away this migraine that's been driving me insane for days. Every time I get the depo shot I get these headaches for the first two weeks or so, and I always forget how bad they are until I feel them again. I also haven't been eating a ton; the shot curves my appetite a bit too. It'll come back eventually, though. It always does.

     At my appointment, Dr. Breeze also ran some tests and informed me that I have PCOS, which stands for Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. It's a type of infertility that explains why I rarely ever get my cycle, but it can be managed for the most part. It still kind of sucks to know that I could potentially have a difficult time getting pregnant again if I wanted to. She said it was a happy coincidence that I got pregnant on my own the first time, and I didn't feel like it was appropriate to tell her how un-happy that whole situation was. All I told her about that pregnancy was that I miscarried, which she accepted without any further questions because of the PCOS. I've been put on some medication for my hypothyroidism too, so that should help some of the fatigue I've been feeling as well. I've been chalking that feeling up to just being so down lately though, honestly.

     I don't know if it's the hormones or not, but I've been especially torn up from the whole Zara and Harry thing for the last couple of days. I thought I was starting to get over it the more I texted him and talked on the phone with him, but I've had to put a stop to that again because I just can't handle it. I'm not okay. Gia knows, and has been staying fairly quiet about it. I'd be a little more surprised by her silence if I didn't know it was stemming from her belief that I'm making the wrong choice by not letting Harry explain the whole situation to me. Even Nate has been checking in on me more, especially since he's started hanging out with Gia and I every once in a while. Maybe it's just my delusional mind, but each time he looks at me whenever Gia occasionally mentions Harry, I really feel like he's trying to tell me that I should listen to him too. Maybe I am being stupid... but I can't seem to bring myself to being open enough to do that. I'm just not ready.

     The back door opening and closing catches my attention, but I stay unmoving on the couch with my eyes closed. I feel Gia's body sitting on the couch next to me, and then her hand on my knee before she quietly checks in asking, "Is the ibuprofen helping at all?"

     "Maybe a little," I mumble. Opening my eyes just enough to make brief eye contact with her, I close them again and ask, "What's Nate up to?"

     "He's on his way home from work now, but he's stuck in some crazy traffic. Dallas drivers are seriously the fucking worst, myself included." I softly laugh at her. "He left his keys at the SHE corporate office though, and asked if I could go get them since he's at a standstill. He's thinking there may have been an accident with multiple cars involved or something, because he can't exit and get out of it."

     My heart drops from the mentioning of SHE, and the negative spike of adrenaline it gives me makes me sit up and look at her. "He wants you to go downtown to get his keys?"

     She nods her head and says, "Mhm. Will you come with me?" I contort my face to show her how much I definitely don't want to do that, so she reaches towards me and grips my arm with her hands. "Please come with me. Then we can go to dinner together after we drop them off. I'll take you somewhere nice, my treat." She smiles pretty widely at me, coming off a little forced in my opinion... but I could just be reading into things too much.