Golden || H.S. ||

Chapter 32

Saturday, August 28th
2:12am

     "I think I'm really starting to like him, Lauren..." With her face turned towards mine, Gia bites down on her thumb's cuticle. Two bottles of wine deep plus a few chugs from the bottle of champagne in the car, she and I are laying sideways on opposite sides of her bed with our feet touching the floor and our heads next to each other's. When I turn my face towards hers, my eyes are level with her lips and hers are level with mine.

The fuzzy feeling in my brain intensifies when I twist my neck her way, giving me a small rush and making me smile. "Duh," I tease. "I could have told you that in the club." Reaching over, I pull her hand away from her mouth by her wrist before she makes herself bleed.

She breathes a whiny groan and turns her head to look back up at the ceiling. "I don't want to, though. I like being on my own. I don't want to be tied down to a fucking man. They suck ass." I feel a pang in my chest from her words reminding me of Harry, but the smile she's forming dissolves the pain. Matching her look, I giggle and ask her what she's smiling about. She giggles too and says, "I'd let him suck my ass if he wanted to." Her vulgarity makes me burst out laughing, which in turn makes her laugh really hard as well.

"You'd actually like that?!" I ask her through our laughter.

"Oh my god, yes. Especially if he knows what he's doing." My facial expression shows my disbelief and even slight disgust, so Gia continues before I get a chance to say anything. "I guarantee you that Harry wants to eat your ass. Hundred percent." My smile fades, and so does hers once she realizes she's brought him up. "Shit. Sorry."

We both turn our heads up towards the ceiling again. After a few quiet seconds, I softly let my brooding thoughts out. "You think he does that with her?"

"No." Her answer is pretty immediate.

I minutely turn my head her way. "You don't?"

She hesitates. "I mean..." Pausing for a moment as she really tries to get her drunk mind to think about it, she quietly adds, "I don't know. I feel like he wouldn't. I don't know how to explain why I think that, though. You know?"

Deep down, I know I'd be an idiot to assume just because he was fucking me means that he wasn't fucking Zara. She's his fiancée, for god's sake. Of course they're having sex, and the thought of it makes my stomach churn. It's probably really selfish of me... but I hope our sex was better than their's. I also hope he isn't able to be as open with her as he was with me. It's really shitty of me to feel this way, since he's going to be marrying her and spending his life with her and all... but they're my honest feelings.

Breathing in slowly, tears well up in my eyes and start to form droplets near the outer corners. Speaking quietly because of the lump in my throat, I confess, "I know it hasn't even been 24 hours... but I really miss him."

Gia's voice is just as soft as mine. "I know." Laying quietly and watching her ceiling fan spin, the two of us stay unmoving for several minutes. If the light wasn't on, I'm sure we both would have fallen asleep by now. However, Gia's next question alerts all of my senses and puts a skin-crawling chill on my spine. "Do you ever miss John, too?" When I take a deep breath in but don't answer her right away, she expands saying, "Just wondering, since you were with him for so long. You don't have to answer me if you don't want to, I know I'm drunk so my filter has gone to shit." Knowing her eyes are on me, I shake my head no. She continues, "Were there not any happy moments out of all of those years?"