Bloodyship

Chapter Twenty

Sey's POV

I think there's a moment in everyone's life , once at least, where you feel like the worst person ever. And in this very moment as Ahim slowly turns away from the heater to look at me, I feel a hundred times worse

" Excuse me ?" It what he says and I feel speechless immediately, I look into his eyes, those brown orbs I've grown to love and adore, the ones I always seemed to look to for support, but here I sit starring at the strong emotion in them , about to shatter them into a million pieces. Ahim blinks once then twice and when he reopens his eyes, they're blurry with tears. Ahim has always been an emotional person. I've known this since we were kids and he finds it really hard to hide his emotions especially tears.

" But ...but you kissed me !" He strutters, roughly running his hands through his hair.

" I'm sorry " I find my self saying while I look away from him. If I stare into his eyes any longer I'll cry too and I rarely do crying.

" What are you sorry for Sey? I'm confused" he takes his words one at a time trying to make sense of it.

" I don't know .. I'm not sure " I whisper not even sure he heard

" I know I haven't been the perfect boyfriend ...I know I haven't been spending much time with you like I should ....and I'm sorry for all that Sey but I need you " his voice breaks and I whimper , wrapping my arms around myself

" I need you Sey " he says again and I look up to see his cheeks stained with tears. My eyes begin to blur up but I try to hold it back.

" You deserve someone better " I tell him and walk up to him.

" It's not your fault and it has never been your fault , you've been the perfect boyfriend. Always. but I haven't been the perfect girlfriend Ahim. I've been leading you on...leading everyone on and I'm sorry . For that I'm sorry " I rumble sniffing my tears away in the process.

" Shit ! " Is all he says then he's ripping his night lamp and tossing it to the floor.

" I want to tell you everything Ahim, why I feel like we can't work but you need to promise me you'll try to understand " I say and hold his gaze he sucks in a sharp breath and gives me a small nod

" I promise " once the word leaves his mouth , I feel worse all over again , I'm asking him to make me a promise while I'm seconds away from ripping his heart off it's fucking hinges. I take a seat on his bed and lightly tap the spot next to me for him to sit. He blankly stares at me and where my hand is for sometime before he decides to sit.

Okay, where to start.

" You know ever since we were kids everyone seemed to imagine we would grow up to love each other, get married and all that stuff ..." I pause looking for some kind of reaction from him but he just stares blankly at the wall.

" I think that's why we grew up and decided to be together , because everyone wanted us to be together ... " I continue but then he cuts me off

" I wanted us to be together because I loved you Sey, I always have maybe you felt otherwise. " He murmurs

" That's what I'm trying and failing to say , you've loved me while I felt obligated and pressured to " I whisper the last part and he visibly flinches beside me

" So you're saying you never loved me?" His voice breaks at the end and so does my heart

" Yes and no " I blurt

" Oh for fuck sake be straight with me Sey " he snaps and I flinch from his words.

" Ahim, I love you but only like the big brother I never had, and I still do. You've been the only constant thing in my life all these years. You wouldn't know how much that love overwhelms me. But romantically I don't. Not like that " when I'm done with my small speech , he has he's eyes closed and his shirt is stained from his tears.

" It this because of Baron Luther's son ?" It takes me a second to realize he's talking about Adrian and I cuss myself out in the head for not seeing this sooner. I had a feeling he was royalty just like Ahim, but the Baron's son? Damn. It sucks to have my suspicion confirmed. Ahim is looking at me with hooded eyes and I almost forgot he asked me a question .

" No no he has nothing to do with this. Why will you even bring him up ? " I'm all defensive

" But you admit today is not the first time you two met ? " Ahim doesn't give up

" Yes. We've met before " I whisper
" But what has he got to do with what I'm saying ? " I snap .

" Explains why you guys were so close" he seems to be saying to himself

" Ahim please " I'm literally glaring his head off. " I just explained everything, you promised you were going to understand " I remind him

" I promised to understand " he seems to be telling himself " yes I did , and I do " he says to me looking me in the eye

" I understand " he says so coldly that I shiver at his tone

" You're not mad at me? " I ask him and nervously lick my lips

" Do you want me to ? " He raises a brow at me and I'm speechless still perched on his bed

" It's late Sey you should go to bed , I'll grab you one of the guest room keys " ouch! He says and walks out. Why did that hurt so much ? I don't know whether I expected us to cuddle in his bed, when I just broke his heart. I deserve the guest room. I do.

A/n

Ouch ! 😢 Did Ahim take the break up well? 😬 ... Okay ! She deserves the guest room. She does.😂