(Sean's POV)
The first court appearance was upon us. Even though we've been meeting with Carter and Rachel, reading up on custody laws, planning out and preparing our case, there was still a daunting, unsettling feeling in the air. This was the second step in our lives - the first being our marriage - that could change our lives and not just our lives but Kyle and Anthony's lives, as well. It didn't just involve the two of us; we knew that, and I think that's what had us both so nervous.
We hadn't spoken a word to each other that morning as we got ready to go to the courthouse. Really, what was there to say that we both haven't already said to one another leading up to that day? Ivann laid out his best suit on the bed and began going through his collection of ties to find one that went best with it. I dug in the back of the closet for one of my old suits - one that I used to wear back when I worked at the office with Ivann.
It seemed like a lifetime ago, a different lifetime since I've seen one of those suits. I had a bit of a nostalgic moment as I looked over my old suit. Memories of the office and the one I loved flashed before my eyes. I found that it was snug in some areas as I put it on - mainly around my stomach. Did I really gain that much weight since then?
I didn't have any time to ponder my question, as Ivann let out a frustrated sigh and threw his ties aside. He flopped down on the edge of the bed, next to his suit, his ears all the way down and his hands covering his face.
"Ivann, what's wrong?" I asked as I walked over and knelt down in front of him, rubbing his knee softly. He just sniffled and shook my hand away. "C'mon, Ivann, talk to me. Tell me what's bothering you," I told him, inching closer and pulling his hands away from his face.
"I-I'm worried that we could lose," he sobbed. "Even with all the research we've done and all the evidence we have proving why it would be better for the pups to stay with us, it doesn't mean anything... The judge always sides with keeping cubs with their families. Rachel and Carter said it themselves."
"It doesn't always go like that. Remember, Rachel and Carter also told us that and we found those cases where the judge sided with the foster parents," I reminded him.
"That rarely happens..."
"But it happens," I pointed out, looking up into his sharp, worried eyes.
"It's just... how can they possibly know what's best for them? Does the judge spend the months with them, getting to know them, what they want and what they truly need? No, they don't," he answered, coldly. "We spend all this time getting to know them and trying to help them, and when they're feeling like they are in a safe, secure, loving home, they get sent back to the place where it all went wrong for them, with people who don't even care about them."
I reached up and cradled his face in my palms. "That's why we are doing this. That's why we are fighting for them," I told him as I looked up into his tear-filled eyes.
"It just seems like everything is against us," he admitted.
"I know, but that's not going to stop us," I told him as I lifted myself up and kissed his trembling lips. "Now, c'mon, let's get you dressed," I said as our lips parted and we both opened our eyes, looking at one another. He nodded in agreement and dressed with my help. "Which one?" I asked him as I held up a variety of his ties.
"You pick."
I smiled. "You already know which one I'm going to pick."
He smiled back at me. "Yeah, the red one."
"Now, you look like you're ready to fight," I told him as I tightened and adjusted the tie around his neck.
"The fight of our lives," he whispered back as he grabbed my hand.
