(Sean's POV)
It's been two months since that night in the shower. Ivann hasn't mounted me since then, though sometimes I think he wants to, but when it comes down to it, he doesn't and I end up mounting him. I know he enjoys being mounted and I enjoy mounting him, but I also like it when he mounts me and I think he does, as well. Maybe I'll hold out on him, not give him any, until he gives me some? It's a thought that has been in my head for a while now, but I haven't acted on it... yet.
He has done a lot of research on what it is going to take for us to have cubs. He kept me informed on everything - whenever something changed in the system, or if he found out about a new avenue about getting cubs. He really has high hopes of starting our family and I feel like I'm just there to stomp them down. I tell myself that I'm just being realistic about the possibilities of how things could go, but it still makes me feel bad.
"Sean, do you think you can get Friday off?" he asked, the smile on his muzzle telling me it had something to do with another step closer to having cubs.
"I'll talk to Chef and see if I can get it off," I told him as I pulled out my phone and called Chef, explaining the situation to him.
Ivann had everything set up for that Friday. We were in his car driving to some place called Family Forever or something like that. He had the biggest smile on his muzzle as I looked over at him, driving us there.
"We were so lucky to get such an early appointment - some couple canceled last minute," he said as he rounded a corner. "Usually, you have to wait a month to even get on the waiting list," he told me as he reached over and took my hand.
"I can hardly wait," I told him, squeezing his hand. Truthfully, at that moment, I think I could have waited just a little while longer. "How much further, until we get there?" I asked, trying to get rid of the nervous jitters that fluttered in my stomach.
"It's just up ahead," he said. His answer did nothing to dispel my nervousness. It only made it worse. He pulled over to the curb, got out, and ran over to open my door for me. "C'mon, C'mon," he chanted, bouncing giddily up and down on his paws, his tail swishing excitedly behind him.
"I'm coming," I told him as I got out of the car. "It's not like the building's going anywhere," I said with a laugh, as he grabbed my hand and pulled me to the doors.
"I know. I just don't want to be late for our appointment," he told me as he opened the door and dragged me over to the front desk. "Sean and Ivann Simonson, here for our appointment," he said to the doe behind the desk.
She tapped some keys and looked at her computer monitor. "Yes, you two are scheduled for the three-thirty appointment," she said with a smile as she looked up at us.
"Yup, that's us," he told her, his smile splitting his muzzle as he clung to my arm.
"If you two would just take a seat over there," she said, inclining her head towards the waiting room. "Someone will be with you shortly, to take you guys back," she told us as we walked over and took our seats.
His tail thumped against my leg as he waited anxiously. He kept glancing over at me and smiling as his fingers laced and unlaced and teased my fingers repeatedly.
"Are you nervous?" I asked him as I watched his tail.
"Yeah, a little bit," he admitted. "Can you tell?" he asked with a quiet laugh.
"Just a little bit," I answered, smiling at him. "I am too," I told him. "You haven't really told me anything about this appointment, so what is it about?"
"It's to see if we are good to go ahead and find a surrogate," he answered, smiling shyly up at me.
My heart plummeted as his words filled my ears. This was a fertility clinic. It hit me as I looked around the room. It was kind of blank and seem kind of cleaner than it needed to be, just like some kind of hospital, not as overly sterile as a hospital, but very close. Fuck! This isn't going to go well. This is going to hurt him, and it's definitely going to hurt me. I have to tell him. I have to tell him now before this goes any further.
