The Bad Jokes #1: The Redhead

Chapter 8: Hold The Damn Door Open

Walking into my condo complex, I trudged up the stairs to the second floor, Killer sound asleep in his little portable carrier. Tired and discouraged, I just wanted to take a hot bath and go to bed. Play practice had been rough tonight, the cast on edge with the creepy notes still being left on cars.

Stop the play.

This play will not happen.

You'll be sorry if you continue.

You can stop what's going to happen.

The notes were baffling. Was this some crazy psycho who had a beef with one of the cast members? Was it someone morally opposed to The Sound of Music? Was it someone who auditioned but didn't get a role? Why would anyone want to stop such a wonderful, uplifting, romantic play? Community theater usually didn't merit threatening notes and strong feelings like this. After the first few notes, I had hired someone to watch the theater parking lot while we practiced, but somehow the notes still made it onto the cars and the cast was freaking out.

The police couldn't do anything, they'd said, other than maybe patrol the parking lot more often. I hadn't told my family, because my dad or my uncles would overreact and have police helicopters circling the theater, an armed platoon of Marines protecting the perimeter and rabid guard dogs wandering the grounds. So far, it was just the notes, the police were aware and I had someone watching the lot. There wasn't much more I could do unless the weirdo escalated things. For the last three months, it had been notes on the car, nothing else. As the director, it was my job to keep the cast focused and pumped.

As I opened the door onto my floor, I noticed two sights that simultaneously smacked me in the face.

First, I noticed my couch -- that had been inside my condo when I left for play practice earlier -- was now sitting in front of my door, blocking entrance to my condo. I'd have to climb over it to get inside.

Fucking Alexander! That bastard loved playing the long game, and I knew there'd be payback for the night I took his phone, but as the weeks went on, I began to think he'd forgotten about it. Rookie move on my part -- I definitely should have known better. Alexander never forgot anything and always got revenge. But tonight, I was too weary to be amused by his payback.

Second, and this was way way way more bothersome to me than the stupid couch, but Sherry the Booty Call Girl of the Condo Complex was standing in the hall talking with the man I'd successfully avoided for the last two months. Briefly, I considered turning and bolting down the stairs, putting my condo on the market and cowering at my parents' home for the rest of my life, but I'd already been spotted. Two faces were focused on me, so I quickly lowered my eyes to the floor and steeled myself to walk past them.

Since Xane had expressed his lack of interest in me (OK, verbally demolished me to be completely accurate) and I'd apologized for basically stalking him, I'd made absolutely certain to avoid the man. I started parking in the front of the complex instead of the back where parking was closer to the door because I knew he parked back there. If I ever did see him in the distance, I quickly looked down and hurried past without saying a word, waving my hand or in any way acknowledging that the two of us inhabited the same planet. If he was in the front of the complex, I'd stay inside my car until he was out of sight or at least far enough away that I could zip inside without crossing his path. 

Pretend I don't exist just like you don't exist for me. Get it through your head, lady: I don't want to date you, fuck you or even talk to you. I don't find you attractive or interesting or someone worth my time. Is that making my disinterest clear enough or should I go on?

It had been hard enough going up to him to apologize, but I'd recognized that I had acted like a stalker and I owed him an apology. And with that apology, my ridiculous dreams of Xane had come to an end. Clearly Madame Angelina had either gotten it wrong or there was a different man with a different scar out there for me.