The Bad Jokes #1: The Redhead

Chapter 15: She Looks Nice

You know what I enjoy? Seeing a gorgeous, red-headed woman dressed in a hot as fuck outfit, twisting this way and that to check the fit and length of her dress right in front of her huge-ass mirror. Seeing her try on different shoes that do incredible things to her legs makes you think about fucking her while she's wearing nothing but the damn high heels. Maybe her legs are around my waist, maybe they're thrown over my shoulders as I power into her so hard and so fast she can't even catch her breath. Not that I've thought about it. Much. Less than ten times a day, for sure. OK, possibly twenty.

But you know what I don't enjoy? Like not at all? When she finally decides on an outfit and shoes and asks if you think her date will like it.

Her motherfucking date who is not me, for the record.

Why? Because I've been friend-zoned and roped into being her date advisor. And all of her dates are men I brought into her life when I was trying to do a good deed for Rory.

No good deed goes unfuckingpunished, apparently.

But figuring limited, restricted access to her as a friend was better than none, that it was ten steps ahead of the weeks she wouldn't talk to or look at me, I just clenched my jaw and assured her she looked nice.

Which was the wrong thing to say, I guess.

"Nice?!" Rory flared, a lethal edge to her voice, hands on those luscious hips, staring daggers at me. Showing me she lived up to the stereotype that redheads had hot tempers. "Nice? I want to look smoking hot! I want to drive a man crazy with lust! The last thing you want to hear is that you look nice. It's like...it's like the kiss of death from a man!" 

You are driving a man crazy with lust, Rory -- this man -- I wanted to assure her but...friend-zoned. And there would definitely not be any lust driving tonight with her date, if I had my way.

I looked at my watch. "What time is Neil getting here?"

"Seven fifteen," she said.

"OK, you've got ten minutes. Remember what I told you he's interested in?"

"Yes, bowling, golden doodles and his mother's garden. And you also said he's also pretty shy in some ways, so I'll need to take control and guide the conversation."

"Just make sure you stick to the topics he likes so he feels more comfortable. Otherwise, if you ask him about something he's not interested in, he'll shut down and get really quiet. It's painful to watch. I've seen it happen when we've all hit the bar and women have come up to him."

Lie, lie, lie.

Did I feel bad?

No, no, no.

"Well, I'm going to get going so I'm not around when Neil gets here," I said. Yeah, what I had to say was better said away from Rory, so I was going to be waiting for him outside the building.

Rory followed me to the door, her perfume smelling so good I wanted to throw her against the door, push up that tight little dress and feast on her pussy until she came on my mouth, her juices covering my face, her face flushed with pleasure --

Shit. Need to leave NOW!

"Thanks, Xane, for all of your advice with Neil. I really appreciate it."

"Not a problem, Rory," I said to her while looking at her over my shoulder. No way could I turn around with my dick begging to come out and give her his expert opinion on the dress. "See you later."

"Bye," she said cheerily as I exited her condo. As soon as the door shut behind me, I adjusted my hard on and walked downstairs thinking of miserable, disgusting things so my dick would subside. It took a few minutes, but I finally talked him down. All I had to do now was stand by my bike and wait for Neil.