The Bad Jokes #1: The Redhead

Chapter 10: That's So Good, Captain

It wasn't even five minutes after Xane left that he was hammering at my door. I very reluctantly pulled it open...and Trevor blasted past me, dressed in his Naval uniform costume. He'd been wearing it pretty much nonstop since costuming had finished it. Trev was what you might call a method actor, and he lived and breathed his role until he became one with the character. My theory was, he could do whatever he wanted if he kept turning in top notch performances as he had for the last several years. 

He'd killed it as the Phantom two years ago, but had creeped out everyone in town before opening night, lurking around town with his mask and cape on, breaking out into the Music of the Night song in random places, like the aisles of the grocery store or the pumps at the gas stations. I'd been asked by the town council to rein him in, if possible. It wasn't.

"I just can't even think about this scene we have to do tonight! I just can't!"

Trevor, hot, built, handsome and in his early thirties, was currently playing Captain von Trapp in our production of The Sound of Music. He was also the biggest diva I knew and currently had a huge crush on Sally, who was playing opposite him as Maria. I still hadn't decided if that was part of his problem or not.

For some reason, the gazebo scene where the Captain and Maria confessed their love, kissed and then sang Something Good was killing Trevor. He froze up every time we came to the scene, from the first time we did a cold read of the script to the actual staging of it. This week, the local orchestra was joining us for the first time and this was the only scene not ready for it.

"How can I live up to Christopher Plummer, babe? How? The gazebo scene is considered one of the most iconic, romantic scenes in musical movie history. It's perfection! You can't top perfection!"

"Nobody's asking you to top Christopher Plummer, Trev," I soothed him. "He did that scene his way, in the way that worked for him. You don't have to recreate that. You have to create something new for you, something that works for you...and Sally."

That was the wrong thing to say.

"Sally! I haven't even been able to kiss her yet! I know I have to. I know it, and you've been so patient with me, and what if I can't?"

"You can and you will, Trevor, because you know the show must go on." I was obviously getting desperate if I was throwing that old cliche at him.

"Yes, I know, but --"

"No buts, Trevor. You and I are going to run this scene, and I'm going to give you things to think about with each line, and you're going to nail it. I'm going to tell you where to put your hands, your face and your lips and when, and you'll be able to not worry about the mechanics and just concentrate on the feeling." 

I looked him in the eye so he knew I meant business. "We'll start with some of the lines you're more comfortable with and work up to the tougher ones, but first we're going to go over the feelings you think the Captain should be having."

"OK, I can do this, but you need to pretend you're Sally when you're talking to me. OK? Pretend you're Sally as Maria talking to me."

The fact that I didn't even bat an eye at his strange quirk told me I'd been directing Trevor for too long.

"Got it. From this moment on, I'm Sally, playing Maria and you're the Captain."

Trevor closed his eyes, his hands hanging limply at his sides while he rolled his neck and rotated his shoulders. He insisted his warmups drained his Trevor energy and allowed his character's energy to surge forward. 

Whatever. I just needed him to get the damn gazebo scene down.

Before we could get started, there was a knock at my door, and I knew who it was this time. Trevor was already stalking toward the door, in full-on Captain mode, stiff military bearing and stern, locked jaw in play.