As It Was...

Cross your mind

Niall Doesn't Love Harry...not anymore...but,He did more than he should have...

NO ONE'S POV

The next morning He woke up to a very excited Shawn getting ready for something...He smiled softly at him as he ran around searching for his watch..

"Shawnie!" Niall exclaimed lovingly at Shawn who was busy styling his hair..

It's your world I wanna live in
It's your ocean I wanna swim in
It's your show and I'm just watching
Losing you is not an option

"What's got you all worked up this early" He asked wrapping the sheets around himself as he stood up to have a look at him...which only caused Niall's stomach to fill with millions of butterflies..

"Niall!Niall!Niall! You wouldn't believe what happened!" He gushed to Niall who looked like he would melt into a puddle if Shawn didn't stop touching his arm this instant..

"W-what Happened?He asked flustered..

"Camilla!, She called! Said we could mend things between us" He said breaking Niall's already broken heart even more..

"Oh" Niall said masking his expression with a smile..

"So,take care...yeah?" Shawn said walking towards the door to his room..

"Yeah.." Niall said turning around as his eyes brimmed with tears.

"Niall!" He heard a loud yell of his name..and turned wiping his watery eyes..

"Y-yes" he yelled back..to Shawn who was in his drawing room..

"You don't have to worry about me coming back anymore!" Shawn exclaimed in hurry as Niall's vision blurred with tears yet again..

If you leave me
Like a message in a bottle
And you don't come back tomorrow
At least you came tonight
It's easy
To pretend that I'm not caught up
But when you get hot and bothered
I can't give up the fight

And with that said Shawn was long gone..leaving a broken Niall behind..

Niall had finally fallen out with someone he loved so dearly and now that he could move on...he realised he was alredy falling for the Canadian..or maybe had fallen..but much to his dismay he again fell for someone who wasn't the one for him..
But this didn't as much as it hurt when the first time his heart got broken...it was a misery...with Niall being completely shattered..and he did know he couldn't love anyone half as much as he did to him...but when he fell again..He thought maybe this was the where the good part begins..but it doesn't..maybe it was how it was gonna stay forever.

He knew Shawn by any means wasn't good for him..he had been blackmailed,forced and a whole lotta shit was thrown at him by Shawn.

But he didn't know how but he fell too hard! It was in the mornings and sometimes the evenings too when Shawn really gentle and sweet with him..though he knew he loved Camilla..Niall still didn't know how to not fall...you really could call him a love deprived person..

Shawn has hurt him far too many times to even count but didn't hurt half as much as it did when he threw those cruel words towards him..but He knew Shawn cared..he knew he did..Then again 7 years and no one cared...except Shawn and Lewis...How could he let them slip away..It didn't matter to him if people use him or don't...he just wanted someone he could lay his head on...and sleep it all away.

Love the way you hurt me
And it doesn't even cross your mind (oh)
Tell me that you love me
But I know you're out there running wild (oh)
Give me all the pain, give me everything
Don't hold back, don't hold back
Leaving me in pieces, but I swear it's worth it every time
And it doesn't even cross your mind..

He should maybe give up on love or any source of happiness now.He should maybe stop dreaming about his green eyes..He should maybe stop dreaming how his lips moved when he talked...He should also maybe forget how soft brown eyes shone with happiness at the sight of him..and He should also maybe forget how the both hurt him..

You keep talking, I'll just listen
Daydreaming 'bout where your lips been
Pull my heart right out my chest, drive a train through
Still get up and forgive you..

He sometimes questions himself that what was wrong with him?maybe he'd happily welcome all the toxicity in the world for a few mere seconds of love and happiness.. he'd genuinely let anyone hurt him but the only cost was that...they had to stay..cause no one did.

Love the way you hurt me
And it doesn't even cross your mind (oh)
Tell me that you love me
But, I know you're out there running wild (oh)
Give me all the pain, give me everything
Don't hold back, don't hold back
Leaving me in pieces, but I swear it's worth it every time
And it doesn't even cross your mind

He was this lonely..but not desperate for the physical affection..all wanted was someone who would lovingly smile at him and tell him how happy they're with him..he just- he couldn't anymore..

His past lover was out their living his best life without him and it hurt..it hurt real bad.. not because he was successful..in all honesty Niall was genuinely proud of him.. he'd gladly let him hurt him again in the name of love...but did Niall ever even Cross his mind..

Ooh, oh, oh, oh, oh
I love the way you hurt me
And it doesn't even cross your mind (doesn't even cross your mind)
Tell me that you love me
But, I know you're out there running wild (but I know you're out there running wild)
Give me all the pain, give me everything
Don't hold back, don't hold back
Leaving me in pieces, but I swear it's worth it every time
And it doesn't even cross your mind
(It doesn't even cross your mind)

He knows he'll die trying to find love..
He knows he'll eventually lose this war of love and life..
But he just wants to put up a fight..
Maybe he can still continue life with his fake optimism hiding his pessimistic self..

I want you
There's no line
I'll love you
Or die trying
I want you
There's no line
I'll love you
Or die trying
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Poor NiNi!! I felt so bad writing this...and school's a fucking bitch ughh grr!!anyway let me know how you feel about this shit..mmkay? - ANNA 😶