Augmented Heart

11

I'd barely been able to get any sleep through the night. John sat at the end of my cot when I first went to sleep, guarding it. Henry and Noah shared a tent with us as well. I kept waking up from night terrors screaming, then feeling terrible for alerting the other marines. I decided not to go back to sleep after the third-night terror. The fear of the brutes hadn't left me quite yet.

My eyes adjusted to the darkness. John's silhouette no longer sat at the end of my cot.

He returned to the tent a few minutes later, probably after hearing my scream, "Another nightmare?"

I nodded. Soft rain sprinkled on top of the tent. The rain reminded me of my parents, of splashing in puddles in my yellow rain boots and raincoat. While other children in my neighborhood cooped up inside during the rainstorms, my parents and I danced until we were soaking wet.

I slipped my boots on and stepped out, breathing in that calming scent.

"You'll catch a cold," John followed me out.

"No. The rain loves me. Free shower too."

The rain masked my tears. The memories of my parents became too much at times.

"Sage. You're crying," He wrapped his arms around me. I feared his strength while wearing his Mjolnir armor. He could break all of my bones in an instant if he willed it. I trusted that he knew to control it well enough to be gentle.

"How'd you know?"

"I just do. What's on your mind?"

"My parents."

"I'm sorry. You shouldn't stand in the rain too long," He nudged me back towards the tent.

Inside, he pulled off his helmet. He toweled off my soaked hair for me.

Henry stirred awake, "Ew, will you two quit it?"

"Just look the other way," John brushed my hair for me.

I thought of the past and how my mom had similar flowing long hair. I wanted to let go of the things that hurt the most.

I took my pocket knife out of my duffel bag and pulled my hair into a loose pony tail. I cut it just above the hair tie. It fell just above my shoulders.

"It looks pretty," John didn't even try to stop me from what I had done, which I appreciated.

"Thank you," I looked in my pocket mirror. I loved it.

"Why'd you do that?" Henry hadn't looked the other way.

"I wanted it to be my own. It looked too much like my mom's and reminded me of her."

"Is that bad?"

"No, but it was making me sad."

A loud blast sounded and my ears rang. I had never heard anything like it before. The ground shook underneath me. I was still dressed in only my undershirt and undershorts, definitely not prepared to fight.

John made some hand signals, from what I could make of it, we needed to leave immediately. He picked me up over his shoulder and sprinted to the Pelican.

I could see a large plasma beam in the distance, pointing downwards towards the planet. Henry and Noah kept up to us as fast as they could. They seemed to barely make it to the Pelican in time for it to take off.

Glassing. I'd heard of it before but only in stories. My ears rang for another thirty minutes before I could hear anything.

I realized how bare I was. I didn't even get the chance to put my uniform on. My duffel bag had to be left behind. I kicked myself for bringing personal items with me.  My dad's cookbook was still in there along with a necklace that was my mom's. I was grateful at least that we'd evacuated John's parents.

"Sage, are you okay?" John's voice still sounded a bit underwater.

I nodded, "I just lost some important things, that's all."

I felt selfish for even being upset about it. People lost homes and family members the day before. The things I lost didn't compare.

"I'm sorry."

"Maybe it's a good lesson. I shouldn't bring important things with me."

"Lots of people do. Don't beat yourself up over it," He patted my shoulder gently. "It makes marines feel brave to have something to be fighting for."

He was right. Keeping those items with me kept me sane and reminded me of why I did this. I did it for my parents. Even without the items,  I wouldn't forget that. I felt like crying again. I'd gotten pretty good at teaching myself not to cry during basic, but things hurt a little more today. Looking around, plenty of the other marines were distressed. I let the tears fall. John just stared at me through his visor. He seemed unsure about whether to comfort me or give me space.

I reported back to Sergeant Martin with Noah after we disembarked from the Pelican.

"I heard you two had a tough mission."

"Yes, sir," Noah's voice shook.

I'm certain there were dried tears on my face. Noah looked just about as rough as I felt.

"Just take the rest of the day off."

"Thank you, sir," I appreciated his empathy. I didn't think my mental state could function enough to get any work done.

I went to my own bedroom, since John would undoubtedly be preoccupied. I fell into my bed and cried until I slept.