Manimal Crackers

I'm On A Plane; I Can't Complain!

That Sunday was the day I got to go on the plane to California. Mom had arrangements with Cousin Brian to crash with him- after all, he's got a big house and a ton of money, why wouldn't he use it to help a family member in need?

"Now, Miranda, are we going to be LOUD or are we going to be quiet?"
"We're going to be quiet!" said Miranda, putting her finger to her lips.

I honestly had mixed feelings. On one hand, I was following one of my biggest childhood dreams, on the other hand, I was worried about Miranda acting up and people starring at us.

Sure, it was starting up fine, but...what if Miranda starting singing LOUDLY, for the whole place to hear? What of that then?

Until I realized, each and every one of them had individual entertainment systems. I realized that, if I wanted to keep Miranda occupied, I could check it out.

And lo and behold, she had already known how to take care of it herself.

"OMG, Paul McCartney is on here!" she said excitedly, pushing all the buttons, and somehow, not Mom's. "And Happiness is a Warm Gun..."
"Uh, Miranda, that's not the Beatles version of the song," I pointed out. "That's U2."
"I'm what?" said Miranda.

"No, it's U2, not "you too," I told her. "Remember that."
"Oh," she said.

I was honestly concerned that we both would get into a huge fight, but one death glare from Mom and we were both on our best behavior.

And soon enough, we were at the filming process. I honestly couldn't contain my excitement, until I realized I had to behave myself if I wanted to be kept on set, let alone be taken seriously.

It wasn't long before a man in a black cap noticed me.

"Oh hi, Jessica!" he said, immediately recoginizing me. "It's great to have you on board!"
"It's great to be on board!" I said, returning the favor. "Now, what can I do here?"
"Nothing much, at the moment," he said. "If we need your help, we'll call on you. Deal?"
"Sounds good to me," I said.
As much as I wanted to go see my cousin Brian, and I did, I realized that this was far more important- it was the reason I was here, after all! So, I decided to sit and wait.

Now, you must be thinking "But films are so cool and interesting! Surely filmmaking is just as exciting, right?" In that case you'd be dead wrong. Sure enough, the director was doing takes of all the scenes, and I mean all of them, God only knows how many times. It got really tedious. So tedious, I was just about to throw in the towel, when suddenly, the director came towards me.

"Hey, Jessy?" he asked.

"Yes?"
"We need a stand-in for Manimal's daughter," he said. "Our old one is at home with the stomach flu."

Boy was I willing to do this. Actually "willing" was an understatement. I would've donated one of my kidneys if it meant being given the chance to play his daughter. Even if I was a stunt double, it would still be a cool experience.

Then suddenly, I heard a voice. Said voice turned out to be none other than the one, the only, Stephen Merchant.

Of course, it wasn't all that audible or anything. I just heard him argue with a group of guys there. But I could hear his voice. Oh boy, could I hear it.

At which point, I excitedly walked over and said "Hi, Stephen!"

Cue poor Stevie turning around in a state of shock at my comment.

"Woah, woah, woah, there," he told me. "No need to get all excited. There's plenty of me to go around!" (Have you seen how tall that guy is? Of course there's lots of him to go around.)