Iron Wall: Home to Dense Idiots

Worthless

WARNING: This chapter has mentions of suicidal thoughts and someone thinking about actually doing it as well as implying having done so in the past. As I said last time, this is for fun, and don't wanna make anyone upset.

"Luc.....Luc...Luciel!"

"Huh! Wha-"

"Are you okay? You haven't touched your food." It was lunchtime and their group of four were sitting together in the lunchroom. Luc hadn't been paying attention. Just pushing around the chicken on his tray with his chopsticks.

"Yeah. I'm just not hungry." Kaname frowned.

"Are you sure? I'm worried about you..."

"I'm fine." Luc stood up, picking up his tray "I have to go. I'll see you guys later." He threw away his tray before walking out of the lunchroom. Kaname shared a look with his boyfriend. Kamasaki just shrugged but Kaname sighed, still worried. Sasaya watched as the boy left, also concerned.

"Hey, Luc. Wait up." Luc stopped and looked behind him. He didn't expect to see any of his friends come after him, much less Sasaya.

He slowed, allowing the other to catch up but continued walking "Yeah?"

"Are you okay?" He was beginning to get tired of hearing that. He didn't want anyone worrying about him

Luc sighed "Yeah...just tired."

"You know you can tell me right? I figured you might prefer telling me." Luc looked at him, confused. "You probably don't want to worry Moniwa, and if you tell Kamasaki he probably will tell him" Sasaya paused before adding "Plus....I care about you. A lot. You know that right?

"...Yeah. I know. I just...don't want to talk about it okay?" Sasaya frowned, not liking his answer. But he knew it would be better if he pressed

"Okay...But don't keep things inside okay? It's not healthy. You may not be playing anymore, but I would rather you be in tip-top shape."

"....Yeah okay. Thanks, but don't worry. I'm okay" Lies, but he didn't want anyone to worry about him more than they already were.

"If you say so...I'm going to go back to the lunchroom, alright?" Luc nodded. He paused before taking Luc's hand and placing something in his palm and closing the former libero's hand around it before leaving. Luc held up his hand to see what it was.

It was a chocolate bar. Not just any chocolate bar, a Kinder one. Luc's favorite. 'Of course.' It was hard to get around here, but Luc loved it. Sasaya had learned that and knew where to get it. Occasionally, he would give him one. Mostly as a bribe to stop him from doing something idiotic, or to cheer him up.

Like now. He stared at the red and white packaged bar in his hands. Normally, he would eat it straight away, but he couldn't bring himself to. It just made him sick.

'They shouldn't waste their time on someone like me'

He pocketed the chocolate bar and continued walking.

"I'd never thought I would come here again.' Luc said to himself as he opened the door to the roof. He used to come up here a lot as a first-year but stopped about halfway through. The last time he came here was nearly a year ago.

He walked up to the railing and leaned against it. He was completely alone. He looked down, getting a sense of deja vu.

"I remember..." he said to no one in particular "Going up here, looking down and wondering do I really want to do this? Will this make me happy? Is it worth it?"

He looked back up, pondering. It wouldn't take much to get the edge. All he had to do was climb the railing, and he knew he could. He tightened his grip on the bars.

"No....It's not worth it." he loosened his grip and walked back to the door

"At least not now."

For those wondering, my sister is doing better. She finally got transferred to the specialist hospital. Unfrontunally, we can only contact her at specific times. But at least she's getting better which makes me happy.