Rhythm of Heartbreak

Chapter 23: Regrets and Heartache

Jess and her mother sat on a sunlit bench, the salty breeze and the soft sound of ocean waves filling the air. The late afternoon sun bathed the scene in a warm, golden light, casting long shadows on the sand. The years of separation between them felt like a heavy fog, almost palpable.

Kris took a deep breath, her shoulders rising and falling as if she was gathering the strength to speak. She exhaled slowly. Jess watched her mother closely, noting the deep lines on her face—a map of years lost and burdens carried. As Kris settled on the bench, Jess hesitated for a moment before sitting beside her, carefully placing herself at a respectful distance.

Jess's mind raced as she tried to process her mother's presence—a presence that had been missing from her life for so long. She had come to terms with feeling like an orphan, the void left by her mother a constant ache. Now, with her mother here, Jess struggled with a whirlwind of emotions. Why now? she wondered silently.

Kris's lips trembled as she spoke. "So, you're into music now?" Her voice was kind, not mocking as Jess had feared, offering a strange comfort.

Jess closed her eyes briefly, imagining this improbable conversation. "Yeah, it just happened..." she replied, her voice small and tired.

Kris's gaze softened as she studied Jess. "You're just like your father," she said, her eyes fixed on Jess with an intensity that made Jess curious. It was the first time her mother had mentioned her father this way. Jess wondered if he was also involved in music.

"Is... is my father...?" Jess began, her voice wavering as she tried to finish the question. 

"He was," Kris said, her voice steady. Her words, filled with years of hidden emotions, created a fragile bridge between their past and present. Kris looked down at the sand as if hoping it would absorb her confession. "He was troubled, focused only on his music. He wasn't a good partner or father, but his passion was undeniable." Her eyes, once hard, were now filled with unshed tears.

Jess's eyes widened, her heart racing as she took in her mother's words. The image of her father, long shrouded in mystery, began to form in her mind. "Why are you telling me this now?" she asked. The question hung in the air.

Kris's shoulders slumped, her posture a silent acknowledgment of the burden she carried. She met Jess's gaze with weary resignation as if letting go of a long-held secret. "I thought you needed to know," she said. "I've been closed off about the past, but I think it's time." Her words seemed to signal that the moment had come to reveal long-hidden truths.

Jess's throat tightened as she forced herself to ask the question that had been on her mind. "Why are you here, Mom?"

Kris took another deep breath, her face showing remorse. "I wasn't a good mother to you either, Jessie. I was young and alone, consumed by my pain. I was angry at your father for leaving when I needed him most. Seeing you as a reminder of him only fueled my anger—not at you, but at the image you carried." Her confession was raw and honest, revealing her guilt and pain.

Tears streamed down Jess's face as years of unanswered questions finally came to the surface. "I thought you hated me," she whispered, her voice breaking.

Guilt and sorrow etched themselves into Kris's face as she bowed her head, unable to meet Jess's eyes. "I can't change the past, Jessie. But if you can, I want to ask for forgiveness for everything," she said softly.

"Why?" Jess asked again, her voice filled with a desperate need to understand.

The silence between them stretched. Jess struggled to understand this sudden change. Was this a genuine attempt at reconciliation, or something else?

"I'm dying..." Kris finally said, her voice breaking.

The revelation hit Jess hard, leaving her in utter disbelief. She wondered if her mother would still have ignored her if she weren't dying. Accepting this truth was painful and difficult.

"I'm dying..." Kris repeated, her voice faint.

Jess wanted to lash out but held back, observing her mother's pale face and labored breathing. It was clear Kris's condition was severe, and her energy was nearly depleted. In a moment of vulnerability, Jess embraced her mother tightly. She closed her eyes, letting the warmth of the hug soothe her. Despite the bitterness and unresolved issues, she chose to let go of her anger. She sought peace for herself and her mother.

They held each other for a while, Jess feeling Kris's grip weaken. Her mother's arms, once strong, fell away as she fought to stay conscious. Panic surged through Jess as she gently cradled her mother's head and scrambled for her phone.

Soon, the distant sound of an ambulance grew louder, and paramedics arrived swiftly. They worked quickly, placing Kris on a stretcher and securing her in the vehicle.

"What happened to her?" a rescue worker asked urgently.

Still in shock, Jess took a deep breath before responding. "She's dying..." she said, her voice strained and hollow, the weight of the truth heavy on her shoulders.