More Than Enough

Chapter 10

Cami

I had been solely focused on art for the past two weeks. I still hung out with my friends, including Nico, but my mind was on my paintings and my sketchbook was always out. My friends had all been really supportive of me. They said they were excited to see my work in the show.

I still hadn't figured out Taryn's riddle, but I couldn't focus on that right now. The art show was in less than two weeks. I could focus on it after.

I was walking home from Nico's house today. I'd spent the afternoon there and he'd insisted on driving me home, but I told him I wanted the fresh air and he relented.

It was a nice day out. We'd had the day off for an unexpected early snow yesterday and even though it was melting and the roads were clear, they gave us today off too. Not that I minded. I was perfectly happy to have the day off.

The sun was starting to go down by the time I got home and I was glad for the warmth of my house. I started walking into the kitchen to make some hot chocolate, but I froze when I saw my family sitting at the kitchen table.

There was a cake in front of them and they were singing happy birthday. Tears were rolling down my mom's face. I rushed back to the living room and frantically pulled out my phone. I scrolled to the calendar and it showed me today's date. I'd forgotten. I was awful. Horrible.

I'd been so focused on my art, I'd forgotten my baby brother's birthday. I was a monster.

I ran out the door, forgetting completely about the cold. I had to get away. I couldn't be there. I ran and ran through the cold night until I reached the park I'd played at with my siblings as a kid. I collapsed to the slushy ground as sobs raked through my body.

"I'm so sorry," I sobbed over and over again.

I was shivering in the cold and the slush had soaked through my clothes. But I couldn't go back there. Not today.

I kept sobbing and my breathing turned ragged. I'd ruined everything. I'd destroyed my family. I'd done this to myself.

"I'm so sorry."

"Cami?"

I couldn't hear through the ringing in my ears but suddenly I was being lifted into a pair of familiar arms and I clung myself to him.

"Shhh, it's ok," Nico whispered to me as he brought me back to his car.

"AJ drive."

I was in the back of Nico's car with his arms wrapped tightly around me. I hid my face in the crook of his neck and sobbed. I should've been embarrassed, but I was relieved. Nico made me feel safe and as selfish as it was, I needed him right now.

"Hey, it's going to be ok," Nico whispered.

He kept whispering in my ear the whole ride back to his apartment until I finally calmed down.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"Shh," Nico cooed.

He brought me inside and set me on the couch. He disappeared into the bathroom and soon, I heard water running. Nico came back out and sat next to me, wiping the remaining tears from my face.

"How about you go take a shower and warm up? I left you a towel and something to wear."

I nodded and padded over to the bathroom. I slipped out of my wet clothes and moaned when the hot water touched my skin. After a few minutes in the hot water, my shivering ceased. I stayed in a little longer before turning the shower off and stepping out. I dried off and towel dried my hair before braiding it back. Nico had left me a pair of boxers, a t-shirt, and a hoody. I slipped all of them on. The t-shirt fell almost all the way down to my knees so I felt covered enough. And I knew Nico wouldn't do anything to me.

I walked back to the living room where Nico was waiting for me. He wrapped me up in a blanket and set me on his lap.

"Do you want to tell me what's wrong?" Nico asked and I knew I had no choice. He was worried and he would be until I told him the truth.

"Today was my brother's birthday," I whispered.

"Was?"

"He died five years ago. And I forgot."

"Oh, Cami, I'm so sorry."

The tears sprung back to my eyes. He shouldn't be apologizing to me. I didn't deserve it.

"It was my fault. I killed him," I sobbed and instead of recoiling like I thought he would, Nico wrapped his arms around me even more tightly.

"I wanted to go to my friend's birthday party, but Rachel had a cheer competition that my parents were going to so I had to stay home and watch Bailey." I took a deep breath and continued. "He was only six at the time and wanted to play with me, but I was mad about not being able to go to my friend's party so I snapped at him and told him to go away."

"I told him I hated him."

I had to pause as a sob choked it's way out of me.

"He ran upstairs, but he was wearing socks and slipped. He fell down the stairs and hit his head on the corner of the end table we kept across from the stairs.

"I heard his screams and ran over. His head was gushing blood and I didn't know what to do so I picked him up and carried him to my neighbor's house. She called 911 and my parents. The ambulance took him to the hospital, but he didn't make it and it was all my fault."

"It wasn't your fault Cami," Nico tried.

"It was! Everyone knows it. I snapped at him when it wasn't even his fault. I should've just sucked it up and played with him!"

"Cami, you couldn't have known that would've happened and besides, you were only twelve."

"I still could have stopped it and now my family hates me."

"What do you mean?" Nico asked.

"Nothing."

"Cami," Nico warned.

"My parents grew distant from me and Rachel despises my existence. They'd all prefer it if I wasn't here. I wish I could trade places with him. Then everyone would be happy."

"Not me. Not Taryn. Not Sammy. And not your parents. I'm not happy with the way they're treating you, but they wouldn't be happy if you died. And I would probably die if you died. You're amazing Cami. The world needs you."

I knew he was just trying to make me feel better, but I let him. I rested my head on his chest and fell asleep in his arms.