Welcome to The New Classic, where the past and the present merge, to form a new future.
Once that no one can see coming...
Join Angelo, Vanessa and the rest of the gang three and a half long years after that fateful night.
Lo kept count. V didn't...
Moodlist Love To Lose - Sinead Harnett Broken Hearted Girl - Teyana Taylor featuring Fabolous What Happened 2 U - Usher Vaya Con Dios - Kali Uchis Perfect Ruins - Kwabs Know That You Are Loved - Cleo Sol
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
She was pissing me the fuck off.
"Okay, so Mary had four daughters." She'd been through this an uncountable amount of times. I just didn't want to see how she was right.
"Yeah, I know, and...." My annoyance may have been disproportionate to the severity of the situation, but this was topping off a long day comprised of us getting on each other's last nerve. It seemed like I couldn't do anything right.
It was October, and we'd just made our relationship official. She was mine. I couldn't have been happier.
Well not right now, but you get the point.
Today was unlike any other during the time I'd known her. This morning I woke up to her clinging to me, burning up. I was instantly worried she was sick, but she dispelled the concerns when she woke up and indulged me in the number of arbitrary black dad tests for confirming illness.
After we settled back down, having managed to clear our schedules for a day of much needed R&R, she had a soft-ass, sappy-ass moment with me. I loved it.
She was driven to tears, seemingly overwhelmed by the intensity of emotion I drew out of her. She didn't say the big three words, but I felt it, more than ever that day. Although incredibly moved, when my turn came to express myself, I was much less... heartfelt. Not because I didn't return her feeling. We both knew I fell first and much harder than she did initially. But I just wasn't good at this shit. All of that didn't matter.
I hurt her feelings. A lot.
Vanessa was the most calm, levelheaded person I knew. Her reactions were infinitesimal. I had only witnessed her lose composure a handful of times, and completely break down once. I thought it was innate to her personality. And part of it was, but our arrangement set the scene for her to feel extremely confined in her ability to emote. So she didn't.
This morning she didn't give a fuck.
At first she got emotional, but this was quickly superseded by anger. It was a part of her I'd only seen fleetingly, that I would unfortunately go on to pull out of her more and more frequently.
There were accusations of heartlessness, demands to admit that if I didn't love her back to just say as much and then came a steely resolution of self affirmation.
If I didn't love her, she would love herself. I'm pretty sure she had quoted an old Beyoncé song, which made it difficult for me to take her seriously. She was being ridiculous. I never said I didn't love her, or anything even close to that. I just didn't cry.
