Adie's POV
I've dealt with this alone, I never shared my problems with anyone nor asked for their help. maybe because Dad taught me not to depend on someone else. "Solve your problems on your own." "crying won't get you on the Top Adrielle." "Asking for help are for weaklings." Dad always told me those things while growing up, I really thought that depending on someone is a sin. It's hard for me to trust or even say what's really on my mind.
Being back in this house brought back all the memories I had with my Father. Happy ones but the sad ones lingers to every corner of this room, it makes me shiver inside. even the dust reminded me how this place turned into hell.
But Aster somehow made me feel at ease. I felt safe. will it be okay if I'll depend on her this time? would it be a sin if I let myself?
but what would I gain after that? what would she gain from me?
sharing my past with her means I have to undress my self fully. making my self more vulnerable. Making me an easy target.
I sighed deeply.
Now I'm making a choice. My own choice.
"You already knew about my Dad being abusive to us, I believed I already said that last night." I started trying not to break my voice. I decided to take a seat in one of the benches near me. Aster remained still waiting for me, for the next thing I will say. but I tapped the bench next to mine as if telling her to sit beside me, it took a while for her to realized but then she managed and now seated on the bench next to mine.
"It all started when Dad's company experienced bankruptcy." I paused to check Aster's reaction. She didn't made any but remained composed and ready to listen with my rumblings.
"I thought everything was perfect, but it was all a lie. One day I heard my mom screaming, begging for someone to stop.. I didn't saw any person cause I was outside of their room. Out of curiosity I went closed to the door, as I took a step the voices got louder and louder."
"I heard my mom and dad fighting, mom was screaming and begging my Dad to stop. I couldn't ignored it that's why I entered their room. My eyes immediately search for my mom that's when i saw her lying on the ground sobbing and bleeding. But Dad didn't bother to help her but instead he grab my arm. I can smell his breath until now I can still smell the liquor and smoke from his cigarette every time I remember that day. It's not something I can shake out of my system... it's like a tattoo that stays with me forever."
I felt Aster shifted her body now facing me. More attentive than usual.
As if she's telling me to continue and so I did.
"It lasted for 7 years. I don't know how mom endured all the beating and emotional assaults.
Even me I never escaped my dad's eyes. After beating mom he would beat me until i could taste my own blood. And everyday it gets worse. He made our lives a living hell."
I can see Aster's expression now in my peripheral view.. her eyes...
It's different from them. I despised those people who looked at me with pity and judgements. But Aster's eyes gives me comfort and assurance that everything will be alright.
"I am 12 years old when Dad's company bounced back from bankruptcy. I always prayed for that day to come because that's the only way to stop all the beating and abuses. It would make my mom smile again, it would make us happy again. That's what I thought but I was wrong."
"Yes, Dad really changed more like he became his old self again, The father I idolized, the one that I looked up to. The abuse stopped and Mom act like as if nothing happened I mean they both acted that way. As if nothing happened. Back to lovers again. Seeing them makes me hate them but I hate myself more. I felt disgusted and frustrated. I can't explain what I should feel or what I have felt maybe because there is no right word to described it. I felt like I've been fooled and cheated."
