The Original (The Maze Runner, Newt)

23 - I Don't Belong

Chapter 23 - I Don't Belong

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Newt said I needed rest and by rest, he meant keeping me active all day so my mind was somewhere else besides death. He had planned the entire day out and made sure everything would go smoothly. Alby had agreed to let him have a day off from being a Track-Hoe and Runner. When I first found out Newt was a Runner, I didn't believe it because he didn't look like the type of person to run. But then I saw him take off, and hell was he fast. Just as fast as Minho.

Newt sets us down on his bed before rambling his thoughts to me. "Alright, Bella. First we're gonna talk since I know you're bloody going through a shucking lot and I'm so sorry if I haven't been a good boyfriend because I could've stopped it all and I feel so bloody bad-"

I cut him off by kissing him, then pulling away while he gaps at me breathless. "What was that for?" He asks turning pink.

I chuckle and fix his hair so it's out of his face, "So you could shut up and talk sense. You have been a good boyfriend and a great person to me, I'm the one making this relationship toxic." I say rubbing my hands together anxiously.

"See Bella, that's where you're wrong." He says lifting my chin to look at him. "You're perfect Isabella and a great person. You're not making this relationship toxic. It isn't toxic at all. We're doing fantastic together Bella, I feel alive when I'm near you. Just because some stupid shanks want you dead doesn't mean shit, Bella. You haven't done anything to them and I'm so sorry you want to- that you want....kill yourself." He whispers. "Bella I need you, I think I'd follow you into the dark if you did."

I shake my head at him, "Newt you're second in command: you have a life here, you're making one straight out of hell. You belong here, you belong here to find a way out for these people. For your people. I don't belong here. Your people want me out, I want myself out." I tell him wiping his tears, "Don't cry, Newt."

"How am I not supposed to cry when the girl I love is wishing for her own death? If you want to die because you feel like you don't belong or because these people want you out, why don't you stay for me? I know it sounds bloody selfish of me to ask you to live for me, but Bella, I love you. Don't you love me?" He asks quietly, his voice breaking as he speaks. I didn't like it when Newt broke down because of me. He deserved to be happy.

"Of course I love you Newt. To the Galaxy and beyond." I say kissing his tears before crawling closer to him on his bed. "I want to live for you Newt. I've been trying to convince myself to ever since darkness has crawled into my veins, but it's hard. You're the light Newt and I'm the darkness, and so far, the lights fading and the darkness is growing. I love you Newt, but I don't think I can try to live for you. I wish I could, I fight for it every day, but fighting for us is so hard because I want to, but my mind is chanting death every second." I say holding his hands, our bodies intertwined with each other. "I'll keep fighting Newt. I promise I will."

"That's all I needed to hear." He says kissing me before standing up and off of the bed, wiping his tears as well. "I just needed to hear that you'd fight for us. Now c'mon. We're gonna go to the Map-Room."

He grabs my hand and tugs me out of bed, leading us out of the room and down the uneven steps of Homestead. "You need to draw that girl, Wendy. We need to talk about your dreams with Alby and Minho."

"Okay." I agree following him. The girl was everyone's concern as well. She kept saying she was the Replacement for the Original which had spiked everyone's concern. Her face clouded my thoughts and dreams every day and night.

When we enter the Map-Room, Minho and Alby are already waiting with the sketch tools spread out on the counter. They sit patiently, smiling at us as we greet them and sit down.