Drumbeats into My Heart

32. Jordi Fights Jealousy

It was a mistake to invite Winnie to meet Seth.

I watch as Winnie slaps his arm again, giggling over something he said. We're meandering through the mall, idly glancing at window displays, Seth between us. He seems to be paying a little too much attention to Winnie.

What do we have in common anyway? He likes my drumming—which is great—and we both like Star Trek. But is that it? That's not enough to build a relationship on, is it? I can tell he's smart. His wit matches Winnie's, who is also smart. If the two of us hadn't been friends since third grade, we would probably not be friends now.

Seth laughs at Winnie, who's gesticulating wildly. They're talking about some teacher named Mr. Garibaldi. I've heard of him but don't really know which teacher he is. Apparently he looks like the California state fish. I didn't even know states had fish representing them.

"I know, right?" Winnie exclaims, her dark eyes merry. "And those orange sweaters don't help either."

"I've never seen anyone with so many different orange sweaters," he replies before turning to me. "Have you ever seen Mr. Garibaldi?"

Seth looks like he's enjoying himself. Jealousy is a foreign feeling for me. I don't like it.

"I don't know him," I reply curtly. I've long since finished my ice cream, so my fingers begin drumming against my thigh.

"He teaches AP U.S. History," he informs me. "He's a character."

"You're in the same class?" I don't like this twisting feeling in my stomach either.

"Not the same class, no. But we've both been in his class."

Taking issue with the word we feels petty, and yet I do anyway.

"You're not missing anything," Winnie chimes. "The man mumbles to himself more than to the class."

I force a smile. I don't want to talk about school. My drumming fingers increase tempo.

Seth must have noticed my restlessness because he laces his fingers through mine. My breath catches in my throat. When I glance at him, the smile he gives me warms me to my toes. Could it be I'm just imagining his over-friendliness to Winnie?

"Ooh the latest Assassin's Creed is coming out next week!" Winnie presses her face against the window of an electronics store. "It looks so cool."

I have no idea what that is. I see the Xbox logo and assume it's a video game.

"Next week?" Seth lets go of my hand and stands next to Winnie to get a better look. "That does look cool."

"You play?" Winnie gaves him a quick glance before returning her eyes to the cardboard cutout.

"I've played it at my friend Tai's house, but I just have an old original Xbox. I mostly replay Knights of the Old Republic."

"Original Xbox? Wow, isn't that an antique now? I heard that game was good, though. I'm a Playstation girl myself, and they never made it for that platform."

"Playstation?" Seth makes a face and shakes his head. "I'm sorry, I don't think we can be friends."

Winnie giggles. I never really noticed how annoying her laugh is. At least, it never had been until Seth came into the picture. My fingers begin drumming against my thigh again.

The two of them resume chatting about Mr. Garibaldi and his strange whiteboard antics, and I get the sneaking suspicion that I'm the third wheel here.

By the time Winnie drives us back to the car wash, the fund-raising event is over and I'm ready to concede defeat. If Seth prefers to be around my best friend, I'm not going to stand in the way. He deserves to be happy, with a person he can relate to.

It's too bad that person isn't me.

Nooo why do we let our insecurities sabotage us? Would votes help??